SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Be forewarned, this is CC&P. 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"You've Been Drinking Too Much Coffee..."<br /><br />Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.<br /><br />You ski uphill.<br /><br />You get a speeding ticket even when you're<br />parked.<br /><br />You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee<br />drinkers are good in the sack."<br /><br />You answer the door before people knock.<br /><br />You just completed another sweater and you<br />don't know how to knit.<br /><br />You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.<br /><br />You have to watch videos in fast-forward.<br /><br />You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet<br />away without using the timer.<br /><br />You lick your coffeepot clean.<br /><br />You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell<br />House."<br /><br />You're the employee of the month at the local<br />coffeehouse and you don't even work there.<br /><br />The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take<br />your pulse.<br /><br />Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the<br />devil's coffee."<br /><br />You're so jittery that people use your hands to<br />blend their margaritas.<br /><br />You can type sixty words per minute with your<br />feet.<br /><br />You can jump-start your car without cables.<br /><br />Cocaine is a downer.<br /><br />All your kids are named "Joe."<br /><br />Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet<br />& Low."<br /><br />You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.<br /><br />Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Nurse's Troubles"<br /><br />Jill, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles<br />to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where<br />she worked.<br /><br />"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It<br />has gotten so that every time I date one of the<br />young doctors here, I end up in bed with him.<br />And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed<br />for a week."<br /><br />"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no<br />doubt, want me to strengthen your willpower<br />and resolve in this matter."<br /><br />"For Lord's sake, NO!" exclaimed the Nurse.<br />"I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and<br />depressed afterward."<br />WOOO, WOOO, WOOO
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"You've Been Drinking Too Much Coffee..."<br /><br />Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.<br /><br />You ski uphill.<br /><br />You get a speeding ticket even when you're<br />parked.<br /><br />You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee<br />drinkers are good in the sack."<br /><br />You answer the door before people knock.<br /><br />You just completed another sweater and you<br />don't know how to knit.<br /><br />You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.<br /><br />You have to watch videos in fast-forward.<br /><br />You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet<br />away without using the timer.<br /><br />You lick your coffeepot clean.<br /><br />You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell<br />House."<br /><br />You're the employee of the month at the local<br />coffeehouse and you don't even work there.<br /><br />The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take<br />your pulse.<br /><br />Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the<br />devil's coffee."<br /><br />You're so jittery that people use your hands to<br />blend their margaritas.<br /><br />You can type sixty words per minute with your<br />feet.<br /><br />You can jump-start your car without cables.<br /><br />Cocaine is a downer.<br /><br />All your kids are named "Joe."<br /><br />Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet<br />& Low."<br /><br />You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.<br /><br />Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Nurse's Troubles"<br /><br />Jill, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles<br />to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where<br />she worked.<br /><br />"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It<br />has gotten so that every time I date one of the<br />young doctors here, I end up in bed with him.<br />And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed<br />for a week."<br /><br />"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no<br />doubt, want me to strengthen your willpower<br />and resolve in this matter."<br /><br />"For Lord's sake, NO!" exclaimed the Nurse.<br />"I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and<br />depressed afterward."<br />WOOO, WOOO, WOOO