SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Big Ones"<br /><br />They were two of the biggest balls I had ever seen!<br />They hung so heavy and low.<br />I tried lifting them gently but all I could do was moan.<br /><br />I clasped them firmly in my hands and jiggled them slightly.<br />With awe I realized, there was no way to move them lightly.<br /><br />They had to be pulled, and so I pulled on them hard.<br />I was hoping to achieve my desire without any discharge.<br /><br />They finally came... oh, what a pleasant surprise for me!<br />And so I moved them now to a higher spot on my Christmas tree. <br />What was you thinking? 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />Here are a couple of old ones but good ones.<br />"Things To Think About . . . ."<br /><br />How come wrong numbers are never busy?<br /><br />Do people in Australia call the rest of the<br />world "up over"?<br /><br />Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?<br /><br />Can a stupid person be a smart-azz?<br /><br />Does killing time damage eternity?<br /><br />Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?<br /><br />Why is it that night falls but day breaks?<br /><br />Why is the third hand on the watch called<br />a second hand?<br /><br />Why is it that when you're driving and<br />looking for an address, you turn down the<br />volume on the radio?<br /><br />Why is lemon juice made with artificial<br />flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with<br />real lemons?<br /><br />Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?<br /><br />Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn<br />shop?<br /><br />Daylight savings time - why are they saving<br />it and where do they keep it?<br /><br />Did Noah keep his bees in archives?<br /><br />Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?<br /><br />Do pilots take crash-courses?<br /><br />Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?<br /><br />Do you think that when they asked George<br />Washington for ID that he just whipped out<br />a quarter?<br /><br />Have you ever imagined a world with no<br />hypothetical situations?<br /><br />Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?<br /><br />How can there be self-help "groups?"<br /><br />How do you get off a non-stop flight?<br /><br />How do you write zero in Roman numerals?<br /><br />How many weeks are there in a light year?<br /><br />If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can<br />he still hear his Walkman?<br /><br />If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to<br />buy all her friends?<br /><br />If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't<br />deaf people wear earmuffs?<br /><br />If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we<br />still pet them?<br /><br />If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut<br />butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made<br />out of?<br /><br />If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?<br /><br />If swimming is good for your shape, then why<br />do the whales look the way they do?<br /><br />If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do<br />they make fog horns out of?<br /><br />If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have<br />parking lots?<br /><br />If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?<br /><br />If you take an Oriental person and spin him<br />around several times, does he become<br />disoriented?<br /><br />Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have<br />a picture of a running child?<br />__________________________________________________<br />And last but not least, the question of the day.<br /><br />If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ...<br />does that mean that one enjoys it?
<br />__________________________________________________<br />Here are a couple of old ones but good ones.<br />"Things To Think About . . . ."<br /><br />How come wrong numbers are never busy?<br /><br />Do people in Australia call the rest of the<br />world "up over"?<br /><br />Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?<br /><br />Can a stupid person be a smart-azz?<br /><br />Does killing time damage eternity?<br /><br />Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?<br /><br />Why is it that night falls but day breaks?<br /><br />Why is the third hand on the watch called<br />a second hand?<br /><br />Why is it that when you're driving and<br />looking for an address, you turn down the<br />volume on the radio?<br /><br />Why is lemon juice made with artificial<br />flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with<br />real lemons?<br /><br />Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?<br /><br />Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn<br />shop?<br /><br />Daylight savings time - why are they saving<br />it and where do they keep it?<br /><br />Did Noah keep his bees in archives?<br /><br />Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?<br /><br />Do pilots take crash-courses?<br /><br />Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?<br /><br />Do you think that when they asked George<br />Washington for ID that he just whipped out<br />a quarter?<br /><br />Have you ever imagined a world with no<br />hypothetical situations?<br /><br />Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?<br /><br />How can there be self-help "groups?"<br /><br />How do you get off a non-stop flight?<br /><br />How do you write zero in Roman numerals?<br /><br />How many weeks are there in a light year?<br /><br />If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can<br />he still hear his Walkman?<br /><br />If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to<br />buy all her friends?<br /><br />If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't<br />deaf people wear earmuffs?<br /><br />If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we<br />still pet them?<br /><br />If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut<br />butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made<br />out of?<br /><br />If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?<br /><br />If swimming is good for your shape, then why<br />do the whales look the way they do?<br /><br />If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do<br />they make fog horns out of?<br /><br />If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have<br />parking lots?<br /><br />If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?<br /><br />If you take an Oriental person and spin him<br />around several times, does he become<br />disoriented?<br /><br />Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have<br />a picture of a running child?<br />__________________________________________________<br />And last but not least, the question of the day.<br /><br />If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ...<br />does that mean that one enjoys it?
