Bassy
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2003
- Messages
- 1,795
cowboy shopping for a bra<br /><br />You know, I've never been much for shopping <br />In fact I try to stay away from town <br />Except when shipping time comes, <br />I ain't easily found. <br /><br />But the day came when I had to go<br />And I left the kids with ma<br />But before I left she asked me,<br />"Would you pick me up a bra?"<br /><br />Without thinkin' I said "sure,"<br />How tough could that job be?<br />I bent down and kissed her<br />And said, "I'll be back by three."<br /><br />Well, when I done the things I needed<br />I started to regret<br />Ever offering to buy that thing,<br />I was working up a sweat.<br /><br />I crossed the street to the ladies shop <br />With my hat pulled over my eyes, <br />I wasn't takin' any chances<br />On bein' recognized.<br /><br />I walked right up to the sales clerk<br />I didn't hem or haw<br />I told the lady right straight out,<br />"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."<br /><br />From behind I heard some snickers<br />So I turned around to see<br />At least fifteen women in the store<br />And they's all gawkin' at me!<br /><br />"What kind would you be looking for?"<br />"Well," I just scratched my head<br />I'd only seen one kind before<br />"Thought bras was bras," I said.<br /><br />She gives me a disgusted look<br />"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.<br />Come with me," I heard her say,<br />And like a dog, I tagged along.<br /><br />She took me down this alley<br />Where bras was on display<br />Well I thought my jaw'd hit the floor<br />When I seen that lingerie.<br /><br />They had all these different styles<br />That I'd not seen before<br />I thought that I'd go crazy<br />'fore I left that women's store.<br /><br />They had bras you wear for eighteen hours<br />And bras that cross your heart <br />There was bras that lift and separate,<br />And that was just the start.<br /><br />They had bras that made you feel<br />Like you weren't wearing one at all<br />And bras that you can train in<br />When you start off when you're small.<br /><br />Well I finally make my mind up<br />Picked a black and lacy one<br />I told the lady,<br />"Bag it up," And figured I was done.<br /><br />But then she asked me for the size.<br />I didn't hesitate.<br />I knew them measurements by heart,<br />"Six and seven eighths."<br /><br />"Six and seven eighths, well sir,<br />That really isn't right."<br />"Oh yes ma'am, I'm positive,<br />I just measured them last night."<br /><br />I thought that she'd go into shock,<br />Musta took her by surprise<br />When I told her that my wife's bust<br />Was the same as my hat size.<br /><br />"That's what I use to measure with,<br />I figured it was fair<br />But If I'm wrong I'm sorry ma'am."<br />This drew another stare.<br /><br />By now a crowd had gathered<br />And they's all crackin' up<br />When the lady asked to see my hat,<br />To measure for the cup.<br /><br />When she finally had it figured<br />I gave the gal her pay<br />I turned to leave the store,<br />Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."<br /><br />My wife heard the whole story<br />'fore I ever made it home<br />She'd talked to fifteen women<br />Who'd called her on the phone.<br /><br />She was still a-laughin'<br />But by then I didn't care<br />Now she don't ask and I don't shop<br />For no more women's underwear.
