TexSkeeter150
Petty Officer 1st Class
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2003
- Messages
- 277
shower ETIQUETTE FOR THE SEXES <br /><br />How To shower Like a Woman <br /><br />1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned <br />laundry hamper according to lights and darks <br /><br />2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. <br />If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. <br /><br />3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror <br />make mental note to do more sit-ups. <br /><br />4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, <br />leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah, and pumice stone. <br /><br />5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo <br />with 43 added vitamins. <br /><br />6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. <br /><br />7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner <br />enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. <br /><br />8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub <br />for 10 minutes until red. <br /><br />9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. <br /><br />10. Rinse conditioner off hair. <br />11. Shave armpits and legs <br />12. Turn off shower <br /><br />13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. <br />Spray mold spots with Tilex. <br /><br />14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. <br />wrap hair in super absorbent towel. <br /><br />15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs. <br /><br />16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing <br />gown and towel on head. <br /><br />17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. <br /><br />How To shower Like a Man <br /><br />1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them <br />in a pile. <br /><br />2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife <br />along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. <br /><br />3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. <br />Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. <br /><br />4. Get in the shower. <br />5. Wash your face <br />6. Wash your armpits <br /><br />7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. <br /><br />8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound <br />in the shower. <br /><br />9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. <br /><br />10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. <br /><br />11. Shampoo your hair. <br />12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. <br />13. Pee. <br />14. Rinse off and get out of shower. <br /><br />15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was <br />hanging out of tub the whole time. <br /><br />16. Admire wiener size in mirror again. <br />17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. <br /><br />18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. <br />if you pass wife,pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' <br />sound again. <br />19. Throw wet towel on bed.
