** WHAT HE SAYS / WHAT HE MEANS **<br /><br />** "I'm going fishing."<br />Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in <br />my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety."<br /><br />** "It's a guy thing."<br />Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected <br />with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."<br /><br />** "Can I help with dinner?"<br />Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"<br /><br />** "Uh-huh." "Sure, honey." "Yes, dear."<br />Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.<br /><br />** "It would take too long to explain."<br />Really means: "I have no idea how it works."<br /><br />** "We're going to be late."<br />Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like <br />a maniac."<br /><br />** "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."<br />Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."<br /><br />** "That's interesting, dear."<br />Really means: "Are you still talking?"<br /><br />** "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."<br />Really means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."<br /><br />** "I can't find it."<br />Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so <br />I'm completely clueless."<br /><br />** "You know I could never love anyone else."<br />Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize <br />it could be worse."<br /><br />** "You look terrific."<br />Really means: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm <br />starving."<br /><br />** "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."<br />Really means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
