SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Jewish Mama in Court House"<br /><br />After 40 years, Mother finally got her citizenship<br />papers and proudly registered to vote. Well,<br />Mother received a notice to report for jury duty,<br />and to our surprise was not only selected for<br />a jury but was elected the foreman.<br /><br />It was a criminal case. A husband had shot his<br />wife's lover, but only grazed his arm. The jury<br />was out for over four hours before returning.<br />Everyone waited with bated breath as the judge<br />asked my mother whether the jury had reached<br />a verdict.<br /><br />Mother stood up, and firmly replied, "We have,<br />your honor. We decided not to butt in."<br />-----------------------------------------------<br />Things to think about.<br /><br />1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?<br /><br />2. Why is the third hand on the watch called<br />the second hand?<br /><br />3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary,<br />how would we ever know?<br /><br />4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where<br />did he find the words?<br /><br />5. Why do we say something is out of whack?<br />What is a whack?<br /><br />6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean<br />the same thing?<br /><br />7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance"<br />mean the same thing?<br /><br />8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?<br /><br />9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball<br />game" when we are already there?<br /><br />10. Why are they called "stands" when they<br />are made for sitting?<br /><br />11. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is<br />"after light"?<br /><br />12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make<br />the unexpected expected?<br /><br />13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy"<br />opposites?<br /><br />14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean<br />opposite things?<br /><br />15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it<br />sounds?<br /><br />16. If work is so terrific, why do they have<br />to pay you to do it?<br /><br />17. If all the world is a stage, where is the<br />audience sitting?<br /><br />18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?<br /><br />19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia,<br />can you read all right?<br /><br />20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?<br /><br />21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of<br />a remote control when you know the batteries<br />are dead?<br /><br />22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and<br />garments in a suitcase?<br /><br />23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?<br /><br />24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we<br />clean when we use them?<br /><br />25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the<br />bottle?<br /><br />26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only<br />have one?<br /><br />Have a good Monday. 
