State of the day(Florida)

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids <br />__________________________________________________<br />Dumb Florida Laws<br />Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. <br /><br />A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. <br /><br />If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. <br /><br />It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. <br /><br />Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. <br /><br />It is illegal to skateboard without a license. <br /><br />You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays. <br /><br />It is considered an offense to shower naked. <br /><br />You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. <br /><br />Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. <br /><br />It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Big Pine Key <br />It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail. <br /><br />Cape Coral <br />It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline. <br /><br />It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. <br />This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000) <br /><br />Daytona Beach <br />The molestation of trash cans is banned. <br /><br />Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, § 28-64) <br /><br />Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, § 20-11) <br /><br />Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance; removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense; notice and hearing; lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited. <br /><br />Hialeah <br />Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor. <br /><br />Jupiter Inlet Colony Inlet <br />Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, §§ 1, 2, 8-10-59) <br /><br />Key West <br />Chickens are considered a 'protected species'. <br /><br />Miami <br />It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. <br /><br />Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, § 8-3; Code 1980, § 8-3) <br /><br />Pensacola <br />Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person. <br /><br />It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel. <br /><br />A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils. <br /><br />Pinecrest <br />In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. <br />Sec. 12-23. Registration required; application; transferability; false statements. (a)All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, § 1, 10-14-97) <br /><br />Sanford <br />Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine. <br /><br />Sarasota <br />If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00. <br /><br />You may not catch crabs. <br /><br />Tampa Bay <br />It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Florida State Mottos<br /><br />FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive. <br /><br />FLORIDA: We count more than you do. <br /><br />FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states. <br /><br />FLORIDA: We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed. <br /><br />FLORIDA: Relax...Retire...ReVote. <br /><br />FLORIDA: What comes after 17,311? <br /><br />FLORIDA: Where your vote counts...and counts...and counts... <br /><br />FLORIDA: We don't just cheat in football. <br /><br />FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount! <br /><br />Palm Beach County: So nice, we let you vote twice. <br /><br />Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida. <br /><br />FLORIDA: Home of electile dysfunction.<br /><br />FLORIDA: We count more than you do.<br /><br />FLORIDA: This is what you get for taking Elian away from us.<br /><br />FLORIDA: This isn't good when Alabama counts faster than us!<br /><br />FLORIDA: Once is never enough!<br /><br />FLORIDA: We would do a recount but we've run out of fingers and toes!<br /><br />FLORIDA: Don't blame me, I voted for Gore, I think.<br /><br />FLORIDA: Don't blame me, my vote didn't count.<br /><br />FLORIDA: We're retired --no wait-- we're retarded!<br /><br />FLORIDA: Don't count on us!<br /><br />FLORIDA: Home of the edible chad.<br /><br />FLORIDA: Bumbling better than ever!<br />__________________________________________________<br />Defining terms<br />C - Can<br />H - Help<br />A - All <br />D - Democrats

 

[snapperbait]

Re: State of the day(Florida)

Yup! Very True... <br /><br /> My opinion, if they were going to give the USA an enema, they'd stick it in Florida somewhere... Palm Beach County, probably...<br /><br />Scuse me, gotta go now... I have ta put a few more quarters in the parking meter and water my elephant... He's thirsty... Been tied up there since 9:00...