State of the day(North Carolina)

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North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable<br />__________________________________________________<br />2000 Federal Census for North Carolina<br /><br />Last name: ________________ <br /><br />First name: (Check appropriate box) <br />(_) Billy-Bob <br />(_) Billy-Joe <br />(_) Billy-Ray<br />(_) Billy-Sue <br />(_) Billy-Mae <br />(_) Billy-Jack <br /><br />What does everyone call you?<br />(_) Booger <br />(_) Bubba <br />(_) Junior <br />(_) Sissy <br />(_) Other___________________ <br /><br />Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) <br /><br />Sex: <br />____ M<br />_____ F<br />_____ Not sure <br /><br />Shoe Size:<br />____ Left <br />____ Right <br /><br />Occupation: (Check appropriate box) <br />(_) Farmer<br />(_) Mechanic <br />(_) Hair Dresser <br />(_) Unemployed <br />(_) Dirty Politician <br />(_) Preacher <br /><br />Spouse's Name:_________________________ <br />2nd Spouse's Name:_____________________ <br />3rd Spouse's Name:_____________________ <br />Lover's Name:__________________________ <br /><br />Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box) <br />(_) Sister<br />(_) Brother <br />(_) Aunt <br />(_) Uncle <br />(_) Cousin <br />(_) Mother <br />(_) Father <br />(_) Son <br />(_) Daughter <br />(_) Pet <br /><br />Number of children living in household: _____ <br />Number of children living in shed: ______ <br />Number that are yours: ______ <br /><br />Mother's Name: _______________________ <br />(If not sure, leave blank) <br />Father's Name: _______________________ <br />(If not sure, leave blank) <br /><br />Education: 1 2 3 4 <br />(Circle highest grade completed) <br /><br />Do you <br />(_) own or <br />(_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) <br /><br />Total number of vehicles you own: ___ <br />Number of vehicles that still crank: ___ <br />Number of vehicles in front yard: ___ <br />Number of vehicles in back yard: ___ <br />Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___ <br /><br />Firearms you own and where you keep them: <br />____ truck <br />____ bedroom <br />____ bathroom <br />____ kitchen <br />____ shed <br /><br />Model and year of your pickup: 196___ <br /><br />Do you have a gun rack? <br />(_) Yes <br />(_) No; If no, please explain: <br /><br />Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: <br />(_) The National Enquirer <br />(_) The Globe <br />(_) TV Guide <br />(_) Soap Opera Digest <br />(_) Rifle and Shotgun <br /><br />Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____ <br />Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____ <br />Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____ <br /><br />How often do you bathe: <br />(_) Weekly <br />(_) Monthly <br />(_) Not Applicable <br /><br />Color of eyes: <br />Left______ <br />Right_____ <br /><br />Color of hair: <br />(_) Blond <br />(_) Black <br />(_) Red<br />(_) Brown <br />(_) White <br />(_) Clairol <br /><br />Color of teeth: <br />(_) Yellow <br />(_) Brownish-Yellow <br />(_) Brown <br />(_) Black <br />(_) N/A <br /><br />Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: <br />(_)Red-Man <br /><br />How far is your home from a paved road? <br />(_) 1 mile <br />(_) 2 miles <br />(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler <br />(_) road? <br />__________________________________________________<br />Dumb North Carolina Laws<br />It's against the law to sing off key. <br /><br />Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. <br /><br />If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married. <br /><br />All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden. <br /><br />A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent. <br /><br />Barber <br />Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited. <br /><br />Chapel Hill <br />It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly. <br /><br />Charlotte <br />Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times. <br /><br />Elon College <br />There is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours, on the roads, or on the bricks. All the sidewalks at this college are made of brick. (Repealed in 1998) <br /><br />Forest City <br />You must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. This is so the townspeople will have time to go out and hold their horses until you get through town. <br /><br />Greensboro <br />Restaurants "with on sidewalk dining" must post their menu so that it is clearly readable from the sidewalk, but is not readable from the street. <br /><br />Hornytown <br />Massage parlors have been banned. <br /><br />Kill Devil Hills <br />You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars. <br /><br />Rocky Mount <br />It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog. <br /><br />Southern Shores <br />It is against the law to rollerblade on a state highway.