SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Billion"<br /><br />"A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but<br />one advertising agency did a good job of putting<br />that figure into perspective in one of its releases:<br /><br />A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.<br /><br />A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.<br /><br />A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living<br />in the Stone Age.<br /><br />A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20<br />minutes at the rate Washington spends it."<br /> 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Solution"<br /><br />A man has been in business for many, many years and<br />the business is going down the drain. He is seriously<br />contemplating suicide and he doesn't know what to do.<br /><br />He goes to the Priest to seek his advice. He tells the<br />Priest about all of his problems in the business and<br />asks the Priest what he should do.<br /><br />The Priest says "Take a beach chair and a bible and put<br />them in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean.<br />Go to the water's edge. Take the beach chair out of the<br />car, sit on it and take the Bible out and open it up. The<br />wind will rifle the pages for a while and eventually the<br />Bible will stay open at a particular page. Read the Bible<br />and it will tell you what to do."<br /><br />The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and<br />a Bible in his car and drives down to the beach. He sits<br />on the chair at the water's edge and opens the Bible. The<br />wind rifles the pages of the Bible and then stops at a<br />particular page. He looks down at the Bible and sees what<br />he has to do.<br /><br />Three months later the man and his family come back to<br />see the Priest. The man is wearing a $1,000 Italian suit,<br />The wife is all decked out with a full-length mink coat and<br />the child is dressed in beautiful silk. The man hands the<br />Priest a thick envelope full of money and tells him that he<br />wants to donate this money to the church in order to thank<br />the Priest for his wonderful advice. The Priest is delighted.<br />He recognizes the man and asks him what advice in the<br />bible brought this good fortune to him.<br /><br />The man replies: "Chapter 11."<br />
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Solution"<br /><br />A man has been in business for many, many years and<br />the business is going down the drain. He is seriously<br />contemplating suicide and he doesn't know what to do.<br /><br />He goes to the Priest to seek his advice. He tells the<br />Priest about all of his problems in the business and<br />asks the Priest what he should do.<br /><br />The Priest says "Take a beach chair and a bible and put<br />them in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean.<br />Go to the water's edge. Take the beach chair out of the<br />car, sit on it and take the Bible out and open it up. The<br />wind will rifle the pages for a while and eventually the<br />Bible will stay open at a particular page. Read the Bible<br />and it will tell you what to do."<br /><br />The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and<br />a Bible in his car and drives down to the beach. He sits<br />on the chair at the water's edge and opens the Bible. The<br />wind rifles the pages of the Bible and then stops at a<br />particular page. He looks down at the Bible and sees what<br />he has to do.<br /><br />Three months later the man and his family come back to<br />see the Priest. The man is wearing a $1,000 Italian suit,<br />The wife is all decked out with a full-length mink coat and<br />the child is dressed in beautiful silk. The man hands the<br />Priest a thick envelope full of money and tells him that he<br />wants to donate this money to the church in order to thank<br />the Priest for his wonderful advice. The Priest is delighted.<br />He recognizes the man and asks him what advice in the<br />bible brought this good fortune to him.<br /><br />The man replies: "Chapter 11."<br />