SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"The Great Writer"<br /><br />There was once a young man who, in his youth,<br />professed his desire to become a great writer.<br />When asked to define "great" he said,<br /><br />"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read,<br />stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional<br />level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl<br />in pain and anger!"<br /><br />He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Going to Church"<br /><br />Several years ago, the Catholic Church required<br />women to wear a head covering in order to enter<br />the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without<br />her head covering. The priest informs her that<br />she cannot enter without it.<br /><br />A few moments later, the lady reappears, wearing<br />her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest<br />says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy<br />place without your wearing a blouse."<br /><br />"But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.<br /><br />"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but<br />you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Suicide Prevention"<br /><br />After hearing that one of the patients in a mental<br />hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt<br />by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed<br />the rescuer's file and called him<br />into his office.<br /><br />"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior<br />indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry<br />that the man you saved later killed himself with a<br />rope around the neck."<br /><br />"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. James replied.<br />"I hung him up to dry."<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Worker Dead At Desk For 5 Days"<br /><br />From the Birmingham Sunday Mercury<br />(7th Jan 2001)<br /><br />Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work<br />out why no one noticed that one of their employees<br />had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE DAYS<br />before anyone asked if he was feeling okay.<br /><br />George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed<br />as a proof-reader at a New York firm for 30 years,<br />had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared<br />with 23 other workers.<br /><br />He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody<br />noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner<br />asked why he was still working during the weekend.<br /><br />His boss Elliot Wachiaski said, "George was always<br />the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at<br />night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the<br />same position all that time and didn't say anything.<br />He was always absorbed in his work and kept much<br />to himself."<br /><br />A post mortem examination revealed that he had been<br />dead for five days after suffering a coronary.<br /><br />Ironically, George was proofreading manuscripts of<br />medical textbooks when he died.<br /><br />... You may want to give your co-workers a nudge<br />occasionally.
smiling again, thanks to you.<br /><br />SBN, with your early rising, I have to ask, are you related to John Gruden? (the pro football coach)
