SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"You Know It's Hot Outside When..."<br /><br />**you ask your boss for extra work so you can be<br />in the air conditioning as much as possible<br /><br />** you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man<br /><br />** the swans in the park come in "original recipe"<br />and "extra tasty crispy"<br /><br />** the strawberries are ripe, and the cab drivers are<br />even riper<br /><br />** your pool water starts to boil in the sun<br /><br />** the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are<br />actually hot<br /><br />** pigs complain about sweating like fat humans<br /><br />** a scalding hot shower still cools you down<br /><br />** people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously<br />burst into flames<br /><br />** a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat<br />at air-conditioned restaurants<br /><br />** the politicians take their hands out of your pockets<br />to fan themselves<br /><br />** you need a spatula to remove your clothing<br /><br />** when the beer gut and the butt crack don't keep<br />you from wearing shorts<br /><br />** you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead<br />of leather<br /><br />** you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!<br /><br />** lawyers kill themselves because they know it's<br />cooler in H-ell<br /><br />** the black flies are dropping faster than yours is<br /><br />** you are sitting inside reading these jokes<br /><br />** your brother's braces make blisters on his lips<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Small Town Newspaper"<br /><br />A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent<br />out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the<br />following report to his editor.<br /><br />"Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today.<br />She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations<br />on her b-reasts."<br /><br />The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This<br />is a family paper. We don't use words like b-reasts<br />around here. Now go back and write something<br />more appropriate!"<br /><br />The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he<br />handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was<br />injured in a one car accident today. She is recovering<br />in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( o )( o ) "
