SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind the bench.<br /><br />After the game, he asked her how she liked the<br />experience. <br /><br />"Oh, I really liked it," she said,<br />"especially the really tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."<br /><br />Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?" <br /><br />"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!" 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes"<br /><br />10. "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday,<br />and she did not bring him to school because<br />Jerry couldn't remember where the school was."<br /><br />9. "Ronnie would not finish his work last night.<br />He said his brain was too tired of spelling."<br /><br />8. "Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over<br />the weekend. He won his age group, but was in<br />too much pain to do his math assignment."<br /><br />7. "Amy did not do her homework last night<br />because we went out to a party and did not get<br />home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep<br />during recess time."<br /><br />6. "Henry stayed home because he had a stomach<br />ache from eating too much frosting."<br /><br />5. "It was my fault Mike did not do his math<br />homework last night. His pencil broke and we<br />do not have a pencil sharpener at home."<br /><br />4. "Scott didn't practice last night because he lost<br />his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet."<br /><br />3. "Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep<br />on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard."<br /><br />2. "Cody was absent yesterday because we were<br />out bowling until 2am."<br /><br />1. "Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he<br />thought it was Saturday."
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes"<br /><br />10. "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday,<br />and she did not bring him to school because<br />Jerry couldn't remember where the school was."<br /><br />9. "Ronnie would not finish his work last night.<br />He said his brain was too tired of spelling."<br /><br />8. "Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over<br />the weekend. He won his age group, but was in<br />too much pain to do his math assignment."<br /><br />7. "Amy did not do her homework last night<br />because we went out to a party and did not get<br />home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep<br />during recess time."<br /><br />6. "Henry stayed home because he had a stomach<br />ache from eating too much frosting."<br /><br />5. "It was my fault Mike did not do his math<br />homework last night. His pencil broke and we<br />do not have a pencil sharpener at home."<br /><br />4. "Scott didn't practice last night because he lost<br />his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet."<br /><br />3. "Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep<br />on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard."<br /><br />2. "Cody was absent yesterday because we were<br />out bowling until 2am."<br /><br />1. "Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he<br />thought it was Saturday."
