SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Absolute Faith"<br /><br />A nun was driving home to the convent from<br />her daily rounds at the local hospital when<br />her car ran out of gas. The only container<br />she had was a large bedpan.<br /><br />She toted it over to the nearest gas station<br />and had it filled with gas. Arriving back, she<br />began to dispense it into the gas tank of her<br />car.<br /><br />Two priests driving by saw what the nun was<br />doing, and the older priest said to the younger<br />seminarian, "Now, Father, that's absolute faith<br />in the Lord for you!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Hospital Bill"<br /><br />A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in<br />for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and<br />as the groggy man regained consciousness, he<br />was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his<br />bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the<br />nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to<br />know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay<br />here. Are you covered by insurance?"<br /><br />"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.<br /><br />"Can you pay in cash?"<br /><br />"I'm afraid I can't, Sister."<br /><br />"Do you have any close relatives, then?"<br /><br />"Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's<br />a spinster nun."<br /><br />"Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied.<br />"They are married to G~d."<br /><br />"Well," the man said with a smile, "then send the bill<br />to my brother-in-law."<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Playing Harmonica"<br /><br />A newlywed sailor was transferred to a remote<br />island in the South Pacific for 2 years. He soon<br />began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a<br />letter.<br /><br />"My darling," he wrote, "it looks like we're going<br />to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm<br />starting to miss you and there's really not much<br />to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we're<br />constantly surrounded by attractive young native<br />girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind<br />I would not be so tempted?"<br /><br />So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying,<br />"Why don't you learn to play this?"<br /><br />Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and<br />he rushed back to his wife. "Darling," he said,<br />"I can't wait to get you into bed so that we can<br />make passionate love!"<br /><br />"First, let me see you play that harmonica!"
