SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
After the recent chain of events here on the boards, how about some good ol humor to get back on track.<br /><br />A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and <br />she's in serious financial straits.<br /><br />She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to<br />pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money,<br />I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."<br /><br />Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.<br /><br />She again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my <br />business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."<br /><br />Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.<br /><br />Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my<br />business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often <br />ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me<br />win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."<br /><br />Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and the<br />blonde is confronted by the voice of God Himself...<br /><br />"Sweetheart, work with Me on this........... Buy a ticket!!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?<br />Unique Up On It.<br /><br />2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?<br />Tame Way, Unique Up On It.<br /><br />3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?<br />They Take The Psycho Path<br /><br />4. How Do You Get Holy Water?<br />You Boil The Hell Out Of It.<br /><br />5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?<br />Dam!<br /><br />6. What Do Eskimos Get >From Sitting On The Ice too Long?<br />Polaroids<br /><br />7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?<br />A Stick.<br /><br />8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?<br />Nacho Cheese.<br /><br />9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?<br />Subordinate Clauses.<br /><br />10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?<br />Quatro Sinko..<br /><br />11.. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?<br />Spoiled Milk..<br /><br />12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?<br />Frostbite.<br /><br />13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?<br />A Nervous Wreck.<br /><br />14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?<br />Anyone Can Roast Beef.<br /><br />15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?<br />Right Where You Left Him.<br /><br />16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?<br />Because They Have Big Fingers.<br /><br />17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?<br />Because It Scares The Dog.<br /><br />18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?<br />Sanka.<br /><br />19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?<br />The Location Of The Dirt Bag.<br /><br />20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?<br />Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.<br /><br />21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?<br />A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!<br />A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.<br /><br />22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?<br />Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
