The Admiral held a gun to my head and made me post this! 
<br /><br />> > CLASSES TONIGHT - PLEASE SIGN-UP<br />> ><br />> > ><br />> > > Classes for men at our local LearningCenterfor Adults - Sign-up by<br />> > > July 30th<br />> > > NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their content,<br />each<br />> > > course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 1<br />> > > HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS<br />> > > Step by step, with slide presentation.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 2<br />> > > THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?<br />> > > Round table discussion.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 3<br />> > > IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP<br />AND<br />> > > AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?<br />> > > Group Practice.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 4<br />> > > FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.<br />> > > Pictures and explanatory graphics.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 5<br />> > >THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO<br />> THE<br />> > > KITCHEN SINK?<br />> > > Examples on Video.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 6<br />> > > LOSS OF IDENTITY : LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING OTHERS TO USE IT.<br />> > > Help line support and support groups.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 7<br />> > > LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT<br />PLACE<br />> > > INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.<br />> > > Open forum.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 8<br />> > > HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.<br />> > > Graphics and audio tape.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 9<br />> > > REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.<br />> > > Real life testimonials.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 10<br />> > > IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?<br />> > > Driving simulation.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 11<br />> > > LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING ALONE OR WITH<br />OTHERS.<br />> > > Online classes and role playing.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 12<br />> > > HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.<br />> > > Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 13<br />> > >HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES,<br />> OTHER<br />> > > IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.<br />> > > Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 14<br />> > > CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS:<br />> > > Practice on developing skills of putting things back where they belong<br />> so<br />> > > that they can be easily found.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to any<br />survivors.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > BUMPERS STICKERS FOR LADIES--<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF<br />> > ><br />> > > OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY!<br />> > ><br />> > >GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS<br />> AND<br />> > > IN HIGH HEELS<br />> > ><br />> > >A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU<br />> PUT<br />> > > HER IN HOT WATER<br />> > ><br />> > > I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND<br />A<br />> > > CAREER<br />> > ><br />> > > SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME<br />> > ><br />> > > COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH<br />> > ><br />> > > DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN<br />> > ><br />> > > I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN<br />> > ><br />> > > WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT<br />> > ><br />> > > OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME<br />> > ><br />> > > DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN<br />> > ><br />> > > ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE<br />> > ><br />> > > I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE<br />> > ><br />> > > HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?<br />> > ><br />> > > DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES<br />> > ><br />> > > And last but not least:<br />> > ><br />> > > IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
<br /><br />> > CLASSES TONIGHT - PLEASE SIGN-UP<br />> ><br />> > ><br />> > > Classes for men at our local LearningCenterfor Adults - Sign-up by<br />> > > July 30th<br />> > > NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their content,<br />each<br />> > > course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 1<br />> > > HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS<br />> > > Step by step, with slide presentation.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 2<br />> > > THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?<br />> > > Round table discussion.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 3<br />> > > IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP<br />AND<br />> > > AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?<br />> > > Group Practice.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 4<br />> > > FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.<br />> > > Pictures and explanatory graphics.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 5<br />> > >THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO<br />> THE<br />> > > KITCHEN SINK?<br />> > > Examples on Video.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 6<br />> > > LOSS OF IDENTITY : LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING OTHERS TO USE IT.<br />> > > Help line support and support groups.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 7<br />> > > LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT<br />PLACE<br />> > > INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.<br />> > > Open forum.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 8<br />> > > HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.<br />> > > Graphics and audio tape.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 9<br />> > > REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.<br />> > > Real life testimonials.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 10<br />> > > IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?<br />> > > Driving simulation.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 11<br />> > > LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING ALONE OR WITH<br />OTHERS.<br />> > > Online classes and role playing.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 12<br />> > > HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.<br />> > > Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 13<br />> > >HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES,<br />> OTHER<br />> > > IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.<br />> > > Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > TOPIC 14<br />> > > CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS:<br />> > > Practice on developing skills of putting things back where they belong<br />> so<br />> > > that they can be easily found.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to any<br />survivors.<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > BUMPERS STICKERS FOR LADIES--<br />> > ><br />> > ><br />> > > BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF<br />> > ><br />> > > OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY!<br />> > ><br />> > >GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS<br />> AND<br />> > > IN HIGH HEELS<br />> > ><br />> > >A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU<br />> PUT<br />> > > HER IN HOT WATER<br />> > ><br />> > > I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND<br />A<br />> > > CAREER<br />> > ><br />> > > SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME<br />> > ><br />> > > COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH<br />> > ><br />> > > DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN<br />> > ><br />> > > I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN<br />> > ><br />> > > WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT<br />> > ><br />> > > OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME<br />> > ><br />> > > DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN<br />> > ><br />> > > ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE<br />> > ><br />> > > I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE<br />> > ><br />> > > HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?<br />> > ><br />> > > DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES<br />> > ><br />> > > And last but not least:<br />> > ><br />> > > IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
