SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,<br />My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,<br />Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,<br />And he told me there was something that I had to know;<br /><br />His look and his tone I will always remember,<br />When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November;<br />"Come about August, now listen to me,<br />Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three.<br /><br /> <br />"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,<br />and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;<br />"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,<br />In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;<br /><br />"Then she 'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,<br />And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;<br />"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,<br />"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing."<br /><br />Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,<br />I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,<br />And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,<br />I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;<br />I began a new diet of nuts and granola,<br />High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;<br />And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,<br /> <br />I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;<br />I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,<br />And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;<br />But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,<br />As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;<br /><br />And sure enough when Black November rolled around,<br />I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;<br />So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;<br />I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap;<br />She held me today, while sewing and humming,<br />And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."<br />HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU!
