A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Indiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.<br /><br />As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.<br /><br />The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field and now I'm going to retrieve it."<br /><br />The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."<br /><br />The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take<br />everything you own.<br /><br />The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in the country. We settle small disag reements like this with the<br />Hoosier "Three Kick Rule."<br /><br />The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Hoosier Three Kick Rule'?"<br /><br />The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back<br />and forth until someone gives up.<br /><br />"The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.<br /><br />The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed boot<br />into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The<br />lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get onto feet.<br /><br />Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."<br /><br />The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.<br />You can have the duck." 
