SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Epitaph"<br /><br />Three friends die in a car accident and they go<br />to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,<br />"When you are in your casket and your friends<br />and family are mourning you, what would you<br />like to hear them say about you?"<br /><br />The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say<br />that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great<br />family man."<br /><br />The second guy says, "I would like to hear that<br />I was a wonderful husband and a schoolteacher<br />who made a huge difference in our children of<br />tomorrow."<br /><br />The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them<br />say... LOOK, HE'S MOVING!" 
<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />"Heaven"<br /><br />"If I sold my house and my car, had a big<br />garage sale and gave all my money to the<br />church, would that get me into Heaven?"<br />I asked the children in my Sunday School<br />class.<br /><br />"NO!" the children all answered.<br /><br />"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed<br />the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy,<br />would that get me into Heaven?"<br /><br />Again, the answer was, "NO!"<br /><br />"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave<br />candy to all the children, and loved my wife,<br />would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them<br />again.<br /><br />Again, they all answered, "NO!"<br /><br />"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into<br />Heaven?"<br /><br />A five-year-old boy shouted out,<br />"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"
<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />"Heaven"<br /><br />"If I sold my house and my car, had a big<br />garage sale and gave all my money to the<br />church, would that get me into Heaven?"<br />I asked the children in my Sunday School<br />class.<br /><br />"NO!" the children all answered.<br /><br />"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed<br />the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy,<br />would that get me into Heaven?"<br /><br />Again, the answer was, "NO!"<br /><br />"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave<br />candy to all the children, and loved my wife,<br />would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them<br />again.<br /><br />Again, they all answered, "NO!"<br /><br />"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into<br />Heaven?"<br /><br />A five-year-old boy shouted out,<br />"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!" 
