Thursday's Funnies

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
17,651
Fore<br /> <br />A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.<br /><br /> He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. <br /><br />Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. <br /><br />As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked "Are you a good golfer', to which the man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />Lone Ranger<br /> <br />The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, they fell asleep. Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend and says, "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."<br /><br />Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked The Lone Ranger.<br /><br />Tonto ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. <br /><br />Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. <br /><br />Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. <br /><br />Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. <br /><br />Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"<br /><br />The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then says, "Tonto, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent." <br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />When I am Old<br /> <br />Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. <br /><br />A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. <br /><br />A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"<br /><br />Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "<br /><br />The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />You people have a good Thursday, I'm off to the lake.
 

SlowlySinking

Master Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Oct 31, 2002
Messages
897
Re: Thursday's Funnies

Me thinks the ole guy is dumb like a fox or needs a hearing aid. And when they got to the motel, he looks her up and down and says, "well babe, what do you wanta do?" She looks him up and down and says," what can you do??" :D
 

roscoe

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
21,781
Re: Thursday's Funnies

Spinner_bait Nut scores a perfect 3 today!!!! :) :) :)
 
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