SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Fore<br /> <br />A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.<br /><br /> He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. <br /><br />Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. <br /><br />As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked "Are you a good golfer', to which the man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />Lone Ranger<br /> <br />The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, they fell asleep. Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend and says, "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."<br /><br />Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked The Lone Ranger.<br /><br />Tonto ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. <br /><br />Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. <br /><br />Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. <br /><br />Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. <br /><br />Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"<br /><br />The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then says, "Tonto, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent." <br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />When I am Old<br /> <br />Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. <br /><br />A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. <br /><br />A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"<br /><br />Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "<br /><br />The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />You people have a good Thursday, I'm off to the lake.
