SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Life's Little Mysteries"<br /><br />See if you can justify any of the following:<br /><br />Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken<br />our skin?<br /><br />Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?<br /><br />Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic<br />Wins Lottery?"<br /><br />Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?<br /><br />Why is a boxing ring square?<br /><br />Why is it called lipstick if you can still move<br />your lips?<br /><br />Why is it considered necessary to nail down<br />the lid of a coffin?<br /><br />Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice?"<br /><br />Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?<br /><br />Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click<br />on "Start?"<br /><br />Why is it that when you're driving and looking for<br />an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?<br /><br />Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and<br />dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?<br /><br />Why is the man who invests all your money<br />called a broker?<br /><br />Why is the third hand on the watch called a<br />second hand?<br /><br />Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic<br />called rush hour?<br /><br />Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?<br /><br />Why isn't there a special name for the tops<br />of your feet?<br /><br />Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?<br /><br />You know that little indestructible black box<br />that is used on planes? Why can't they make<br />the whole plane out of the same substance?<br /><br />Can fat people go skinny-dipping?<br /><br />Why do you need a driver's license to buy<br />liquor when you can't drink and drive?<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Ralph Goes to Disneyland"<br /><br />Ralph had always been a big fan of Walt Disney.<br /><br />He saw every film that the Disney Studios put<br />out. So it was no surprise when he headed to<br />Disneyland looking for a job as a tour guide.<br /><br />And his interview went something like this:<br /><br />Interviewer, "So why would you like to work for us?"<br /><br />Ralph, "I've been a big fan for many years. I<br />reckon that I know as much about your characters<br />as anyone. I'd make a darn good tour guide."<br /><br />Interviewer, "Tell you what. If you can answer 3<br />questions, I'll give you the job of Head Tour Guide."<br /><br />Ralph, "Sounds fair."<br /><br />Interviewer, "First Question: Who is Mickey<br />Mouse's girlfriend?"<br /><br />Ralph, "Minnie Mouse."<br /><br />Interviewer, "Second Question: Name our 2 most<br />famous dogs."<br /><br />Ralph, "Pluto and Goofy."<br /><br />Interviewer, "Very Good. Speaking of dogs, I<br />assume you saw the movie 101 Dalmatians?"<br /><br />Ralph, "Sure did."<br /><br />Interviewer, "Okay, name them." 