SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
NEW BABY<br /><br />For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his<br />first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. <br />One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. <br />The six-year old was obviously impressed, but<br />made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. <br />The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I<br />think Mommy ate it!"<br /><br />AIRPLANE JOKES<br /><br />1. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than<br />Southwest Airlines."<br /><br />2. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with you with our compliments."<br /><br />3. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.<br />Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. <br />Please do not leave children or spouses."<br /><br />4. And from the pilot during his welcome message:<br />"Delta airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.<br />Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"<br /><br />5. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into<br />Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the<br />Captain was really having to fight it. After an<br />extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome<br />to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate.<br /><br />ALL IN FAVOR...<br /><br />Two members of the Town Council got into a shouting match during a meeting. "You are the biggest idiot in the world,"the first man<br />yelled. <br />"And you're the most bigoted jerk in the<br />world," the second retorted. <br />The mayor, who was presiding over the meeting, banged his gavel. "Quiet, gentlemen!" he ordered. "It seems that in your excitement, you've forgotten that I am in the room."
