SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Smart Mouth"<br /><br />A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right<br />behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad<br />was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."<br /><br />The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid,<br />who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant<br />and my mom a girl elephant, I would be a little<br />elephant."<br /><br />The kid goes on with several animals until the bus<br />driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your<br />dad was gay and your mom was a prosti-tute?!"<br /><br />The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Honest Lawyer"<br /><br />An investment counselor went out on her own.<br />She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept<br />coming in, and pretty soon she realized she<br />needed an in-house counsel, so she began<br />interviewing young lawyers.<br /><br />"As I'm sure you can understand," she started<br />off with one of the first applicants, "in a business<br />like this, our personal integrity must be beyond<br />question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson,<br />are you an *honest* lawyer?"<br /><br />"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell<br />you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest<br />that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for<br />my education, and I paid back every penny the<br />minute I tried my very first case."<br /><br />"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"<br /><br />The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted,<br />"He sued me for the money."<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Getting A Divorce"<br /><br />A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained<br />a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity<br />of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income<br />and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had<br />fallen head over heals in love with him, even<br />though he was a married man.<br /><br />"Oh, sweetie," she sobbed at the conclusion<br />of the trial, "isn't there some way we can be<br />together, the way we were meant to be?"<br /><br />Taking her by the shoulders, the lawyer proceeded<br />to scold her for her lack of discretion and good<br />judgment. "Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the<br />edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried<br />meetings in sordid motels rooms - is that really<br />what you want for us?"<br /><br />"No...no..." she sobbed, heartsick.<br /><br />"Oh," said the lawyer. "Well, it was just a suggestion."
