Kenneth Brown
Captain
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2003
- Messages
- 3,481
Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by cannibals. <br /><br />They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief. <br />The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?" <br /><br />Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of hot, spicy chili." <br /><br />The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. <br /><br />Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content." <br /><br />Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest <br />of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." <br /><br />The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." <br />Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace." <br /><br />Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to <br />happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job "til the end." <br /><br />The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and <br />Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die <br />happy." <br /><br />The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?" <br /><br />"Kick me in the *** ," said the Marine. <br /><br />"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" <br /><br />"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the *** ," insisted the Marine. <br /><br />So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the *** . <br />The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm <br />pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he grabbed his knapsack, pulled out his M-16, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives. <br /><br />As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the *** ?" <br /><br />"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal Assholes call ME the aggressor?!?"
