SpinnerBait_Nut
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"A Rambling Rose By Any Other Name"<br /> <br />A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time.<br />Later they go on to a show.<br /> <br />The evening is a huge success and as he drops<br />her at her door he says, "I have had a lovely time.<br />You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a<br />beautiful rambling rose. May I call on you tomorrow?"<br /> <br />She agrees and a date is made.<br /> <br />The next night he knocks on her door and when<br />she opens it she slaps him hard across the face.<br /> <br />He is stunned. "What was that for?" he asked.<br /> <br />She said, "I looked up rambling rose in the<br />encyclopaedia last night and it said 'Not well<br />suited to bedding but is excellent for rooting up<br />against a garden wall.'" 
<br />________________________________________________<br />"Fifty-Fifty"<br /> <br />A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down<br />to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had<br />ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he<br />watched, the gentleman carefully divided the<br />hamburger in half, then counted out the fries,<br />one for him, one for her, until each had half of<br />them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into<br />the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.<br /> <br />The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat<br />watching, with her hands folded in her lap.<br /> <br />The young man decided to ask if they would allow<br />him to purchase another meal for them so that<br />they didn't have to split theirs.<br /> <br />The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been<br />married 50 years, and everything has always been<br />and will always be shared, 50/50."<br /> <br />The young man then asked the wife if she was<br />going to eat. She replied, <br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"When he's done with my teeth!"<br />
<br />________________________________________________<br />"Fifty-Fifty"<br /> <br />A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down<br />to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had<br />ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he<br />watched, the gentleman carefully divided the<br />hamburger in half, then counted out the fries,<br />one for him, one for her, until each had half of<br />them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into<br />the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.<br /> <br />The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat<br />watching, with her hands folded in her lap.<br /> <br />The young man decided to ask if they would allow<br />him to purchase another meal for them so that<br />they didn't have to split theirs.<br /> <br />The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been<br />married 50 years, and everything has always been<br />and will always be shared, 50/50."<br /> <br />The young man then asked the wife if she was<br />going to eat. She replied, <br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"When he's done with my teeth!"<br /> 
