SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Grandpa's Manners"<br /><br />"Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the<br />modish young lady.<br /><br />"What's to be proud of?" asked the old man.<br /><br />The young lady replied, "I noticed that when<br />you sneeze, you've learned to put your hand<br />in front of your mouth."<br /><br />"Of course," explained Grandpa.<br /><br />"How else can I catch my teeth???"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Weighing In"<br /><br />A lady noticed her husband standing on the<br />bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.<br /><br />She commented, "I don't think that's going<br />to help."<br /><br />"Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can<br />see the numbers."<br />__________________________________________________<br />Darling," a husband whispered to his wife late one night,<br />"if I died, would you get married again?"<br /><br />"I suppose so," she replied.<br /><br />"Would you sleep in the same bed with him?"<br /><br />"Well, it's the only bed in the house, so I have<br />no choice."<br /><br />"Would you make love to him?"<br /><br />"Honey," the woman said patiently, "he would be<br />my husband."<br /><br />"Would you give him my car?"<br /><br />"No," she yawned, "He can't drive a stick shift."<br />__________________________________________________<br />Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor<br />and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban<br />neighborhood. <br /><br />They parked their truck at the end of the<br />alley and worked their way to the other end. <br /><br />At the last<br />house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the<br />two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the<br />meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger<br />Co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck<br />to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. <br /><br />As<br />they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady<br />from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind<br />them. <br /><br />They stopped and asked her what was wrong. <br /><br />Gasping<br />for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running<br />as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"
