SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"The Perfect Husband"<br /><br />There are several men in the locker room of a<br />private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell<br />phone that was on one of the benches rings.<br />Aspeck picks it up and the following conversation<br />ensues:<br /><br />"Hello?"<br /><br />"Honey, It's me."<br />"Sugar!"<br /><br />"Are you at the club?"<br />"Yes."<br /><br />"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you<br />are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely<br />gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"<br />"What's the price?"<br /><br />"Only $1,500.00"<br />"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that<br />much..."<br /><br />"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership<br />and saw the 2001 at a really good price ... and since<br />we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last<br />year..."<br />"What price did he quote you?"<br /><br />"Only $60,000..."<br />"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."<br /><br />"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."<br />"What?"<br /><br />"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your<br />bank account and... I stopped by the real estate agent<br />this morning, and I saw the house we had looked at<br />last year ... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with<br />a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beach front<br />property..."<br /><br />"How much are they asking?"<br />"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that<br />we have that much in the bank to cover..."<br /><br />"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000.<br />OK?"<br /><br />"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"<br /><br />"Bye... I do, too..."<br /><br />aspeck hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises<br />his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those<br />present:<br /><br />"Er... Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"<br /><br />Yea!!! Bubbakat answers, "It's mine."<br /><br />aspeck says, "Well I found it" 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Get Married?"<br /><br />Arthur took his college roommate, Samuel, home<br />for Christmas, and after dinner, spoke to his father,<br />"Dad, I need to tell you something. Samuel and<br />I want to get married, and we'd like your blessing."<br /><br />Arthur's father practically exploded, his face<br />turned red, and was literally speechless for ten<br />minutes. When he finally regained his composure,<br />he replied,<br /><br />"Arthur, you CANNOT marry Samuel!!! For<br />Christ's sake, Arthur... He's... He's Jewish!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Big Ones"<br /><br />They were two of the biggest balls I had ever<br />seen! They hung so heavy and low. I tried<br />lifting them gently, but that wasn't enough.<br />They had to be pulled, and I pulled on them<br />very hard.<br /><br />They finally came.<br /><br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br />I moved them to a higher spot on the<br />Christmas tree.<br /><br />..<br />..<br />And Just What Were You Thinkin' ????<br /><br />
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Get Married?"<br /><br />Arthur took his college roommate, Samuel, home<br />for Christmas, and after dinner, spoke to his father,<br />"Dad, I need to tell you something. Samuel and<br />I want to get married, and we'd like your blessing."<br /><br />Arthur's father practically exploded, his face<br />turned red, and was literally speechless for ten<br />minutes. When he finally regained his composure,<br />he replied,<br /><br />"Arthur, you CANNOT marry Samuel!!! For<br />Christ's sake, Arthur... He's... He's Jewish!"<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Big Ones"<br /><br />They were two of the biggest balls I had ever<br />seen! They hung so heavy and low. I tried<br />lifting them gently, but that wasn't enough.<br />They had to be pulled, and I pulled on them<br />very hard.<br /><br />They finally came.<br /><br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br /><<br />I moved them to a higher spot on the<br />Christmas tree.<br /><br />..<br />..<br />And Just What Were You Thinkin' ????<br /><br /> 
