SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
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"Elijah the Prophet"<br /><br />The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining<br />the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets<br />of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put<br />wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon<br />the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of<br />God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the<br />altar. He had them do this four times.<br /><br />"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class<br />tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water<br />over the steer on the altar?"<br /><br />A little girl raised her hand with great enthusiasm<br />and said, "To make the gravy." 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Dinner Party"<br /><br />A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner<br />party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad,<br />the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid<br />informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen<br />table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's mid-<br />section.<br /><br />The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some<br />canned salmon and other camouflage. As the guests<br />were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into<br />the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands,<br />"Madam, the cat is dead."<br /><br />The hostess and her husband informed the guests<br />and suggested it might be best if everyone went to<br />the hospital and had their stomachs pumped.<br /><br />Returning home, the couple asked the maid where<br />she had put the cat. "It is still out on the road where<br />the car ran over it." <br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Wolf Man"<br /><br />The Wolf Man comes home one day from a<br />long day at the office.<br /><br />"How was work, dear?" his wife asks.<br /><br />"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he<br />shouts.<br /><br />"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a<br />nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.<br /><br />"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I<br />don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with<br />you? Can I come home from work and just<br />do my own thing without you forcing food<br />own my throat? Huh?"<br /><br />At this moment, the wolf man started growling,<br />and throwing things around the apartment in a<br />mad rage.<br /><br />Looking out the window, his wife sees a full<br />moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's<br />that time of the month."
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Dinner Party"<br /><br />A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner<br />party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad,<br />the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid<br />informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen<br />table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's mid-<br />section.<br /><br />The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some<br />canned salmon and other camouflage. As the guests<br />were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into<br />the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands,<br />"Madam, the cat is dead."<br /><br />The hostess and her husband informed the guests<br />and suggested it might be best if everyone went to<br />the hospital and had their stomachs pumped.<br /><br />Returning home, the couple asked the maid where<br />she had put the cat. "It is still out on the road where<br />the car ran over it." <br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Wolf Man"<br /><br />The Wolf Man comes home one day from a<br />long day at the office.<br /><br />"How was work, dear?" his wife asks.<br /><br />"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he<br />shouts.<br /><br />"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a<br />nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.<br /><br />"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I<br />don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with<br />you? Can I come home from work and just<br />do my own thing without you forcing food<br />own my throat? Huh?"<br /><br />At this moment, the wolf man started growling,<br />and throwing things around the apartment in a<br />mad rage.<br /><br />Looking out the window, his wife sees a full<br />moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's<br />that time of the month." 
