SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Computer Error"<br /><br />Judy was having trouble with her computer. So she<br />called Tony, the computer guy, over to her desk. Tony<br />clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As<br />he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what<br />was wrong?"<br /><br />And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."<br /><br />A puzzled expression ran riot over Judy's face. "An ID<br />Ten T Error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"<br /><br />He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID<br />Ten T Error before?"<br /><br />"No," replied Judy.<br /><br />"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."<br /><br />(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T 
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Don't Step On The Ducks!"<br /><br />Three women die together in an accident and go<br />to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says,<br />"We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't<br />step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and<br />sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.<br />It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and<br />although they try their best to avoid them, the first<br />woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes<br />St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St.<br />Peter chains them together and says, "Your<br />punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend<br />eternity chained to this ugly man!"<br /><br />The next day, the second woman accidentally steps<br />on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't<br />miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly<br />man. He chains them together with the same<br />punishment as the first woman.<br /><br />The third woman has observed all this and, not<br />wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man,<br />is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages<br />to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one<br />day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome<br />man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular,<br />and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together<br />without saying a word.<br /><br />The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve<br />being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says,<br />"Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck." <br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Artist"<br /><br />An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a<br />long time. Every day he was up early and worked<br />late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his<br />paint brush. As each day passed, he gained a<br />better understanding of the female body and was<br />able to really make his paintings shine.<br /><br />After a month, the artist had become very weary<br />from this non-stop effort and decided to take it easy<br />for the day. Since Karen, his model, had already<br />shown up, he suggested they merely have a glass<br />of wine and talk - since normally he preferred to do<br />his painting in silence.<br /><br />They talked for a few hours, getting to know each<br />other better. Then, as they were sipping their claret,<br />the artist heard a car arriving outside. He jumped up<br />and said, "OH NO! It's my wife! Quick, take off your<br />clothes!"
<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Don't Step On The Ducks!"<br /><br />Three women die together in an accident and go<br />to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says,<br />"We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't<br />step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and<br />sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.<br />It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and<br />although they try their best to avoid them, the first<br />woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes<br />St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St.<br />Peter chains them together and says, "Your<br />punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend<br />eternity chained to this ugly man!"<br /><br />The next day, the second woman accidentally steps<br />on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't<br />miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly<br />man. He chains them together with the same<br />punishment as the first woman.<br /><br />The third woman has observed all this and, not<br />wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man,<br />is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages<br />to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one<br />day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome<br />man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular,<br />and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together<br />without saying a word.<br /><br />The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve<br />being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says,<br />"Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck." <br />__________________________________________________<br />"The Artist"<br /><br />An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a<br />long time. Every day he was up early and worked<br />late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his<br />paint brush. As each day passed, he gained a<br />better understanding of the female body and was<br />able to really make his paintings shine.<br /><br />After a month, the artist had become very weary<br />from this non-stop effort and decided to take it easy<br />for the day. Since Karen, his model, had already<br />shown up, he suggested they merely have a glass<br />of wine and talk - since normally he preferred to do<br />his painting in silence.<br /><br />They talked for a few hours, getting to know each<br />other better. Then, as they were sipping their claret,<br />the artist heard a car arriving outside. He jumped up<br />and said, "OH NO! It's my wife! Quick, take off your<br />clothes!" 
