Tuesday Humor

SpinnerBait_Nut

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"The Rules of Chocolate"<br /><br />If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,<br />you're eating it too slowly.<br /><br />Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices<br />and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many<br />as you want.<br /><br />The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate<br />home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat<br />it in the parking lot.<br /><br />Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll<br />take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.<br /><br />A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily<br />intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?<br /><br />If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the<br />freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate,<br />what's wrong with you?<br /><br />If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top<br />of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they<br />will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.<br /><br />If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white<br />chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually<br />counteract each other?<br /><br />Money talks. Chocolate sings.<br /><br />Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives<br />make you look younger.<br /><br />Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics<br />Anonymous?<br />A. Because no one wants to quit.<br /><br />If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control<br />top p-anty hose. An entire garment industry would be<br />devastated.<br /><br />Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do<br />today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
 
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