SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Remember this on your next eyeglass apointment and FAINT after the first answer. 
<br />"Customary Charges"<br /><br />An optometrist was instructing a new employee<br />on how to charge a customer:<br /><br />"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how<br />much they cost, you say '$75.' ...<br /><br />If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames.<br />The lenses will be $50.'...<br /><br />If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.'<br />__________________________________________________<br />Hey a lot of us might face the dreaded nursing home scene one day, but not me folks.<br />I have come up with a plan and it's sure cheaper than a nursing home.<br />Read on.<br />"Best Deal Yet"<br /><br />No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday<br />Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home per day<br />reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get<br />old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at<br />the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount<br />and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves<br />$138.77 a day for:<br /><br />1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want,<br />or room service.<br />2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.<br /><br />Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room,<br />a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste<br />and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They<br />treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips<br />a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.<br />There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride cheap.<br /><br />To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.<br />For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and<br />eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at<br />the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps<br />building up. It takes months to get into decent nursing<br />homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And<br />you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move<br />from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.<br /><br />Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.<br />T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a<br />mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything,<br />and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a<br />night security person and daily room service. The<br />maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they will<br />call the undertaker or an ambulance.<br /><br />If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip,<br />and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest<br />of your life. And no worries about visits from family.<br />They will always be glad to find you, and probably<br />check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids<br />can use the pool. What more can you ask for?<br /><br />So, when I reach the golden age, I'll face it with a grin.<br />Just forward all my email to: me@Holiday.Inn<br />
<br />"Customary Charges"<br /><br />An optometrist was instructing a new employee<br />on how to charge a customer:<br /><br />"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how<br />much they cost, you say '$75.' ...<br /><br />If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames.<br />The lenses will be $50.'...<br /><br />If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.'<br />__________________________________________________<br />Hey a lot of us might face the dreaded nursing home scene one day, but not me folks.<br />I have come up with a plan and it's sure cheaper than a nursing home.<br />Read on.<br />"Best Deal Yet"<br /><br />No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday<br />Inn! With the average cost for a nursing home per day<br />reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get<br />old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at<br />the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount<br />and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves<br />$138.77 a day for:<br /><br />1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want,<br />or room service.<br />2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.<br /><br />Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room,<br />a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste<br />and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They<br />treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips<br />a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.<br />There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride cheap.<br /><br />To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.<br />For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and<br />eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at<br />the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps<br />building up. It takes months to get into decent nursing<br />homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And<br />you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move<br />from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.<br /><br />Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.<br />T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a<br />mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything,<br />and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a<br />night security person and daily room service. The<br />maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they will<br />call the undertaker or an ambulance.<br /><br />If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip,<br />and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest<br />of your life. And no worries about visits from family.<br />They will always be glad to find you, and probably<br />check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids<br />can use the pool. What more can you ask for?<br /><br />So, when I reach the golden age, I'll face it with a grin.<br />Just forward all my email to: me@Holiday.Inn<br /> 