SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Two Men And One Woman...."<br /><br />On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle<br />of nowhere, the following people are stranded:<br /><br />- Two Italian Men and one Italian woman<br />- Two French men and one French woman<br />- Two German men and one German woman<br />- Two Greek men and one Greek woman<br />- Two English men and one English woman<br />- Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman<br />- Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman<br />- Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman<br />- Two Irish men and one Irish woman<br />- Two American men and one American woman<br /><br />One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted<br />islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things<br />have occurred:<br /><br />- One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the<br />Italian woman.<br /><br />- The two French men and the French woman are<br />living happily together in a menage a trois.<br /><br />- The two German men have a strict weekly schedule<br />of alternating visits with the German woman.<br /><br />- The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and<br />the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.<br /><br />- The two English men are waiting for someone to<br />introduce them to the English woman.<br /><br />- The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian<br />woman and started swimming to another island.<br /><br />- The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting<br />instructions.<br /><br />- The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/store/<br />restaurant/laundry, and have got the woman pregnant<br />in order to supply employees and customers for their store.<br /><br />- The two Irish men divided the island into North and<br />South and set up a distillery. They do not remember<br />if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy<br />after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're<br />satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.<br /><br />- The two American men are contemplating suicide,<br />because the American woman will not shut up and<br />complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature<br />of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she<br />can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment,<br />the equal division of household chores, how sand and<br />palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend<br />respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they<br />do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root<br />cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a<br />darn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all<br />rescued off this heaven-forsaken deserted island in the<br />middle of nowhere so she can get her nails done and<br />go shopping.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Cowboy Boots"<br /><br />A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a<br />cowboy with his feet propped upon a table.<br />He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.<br />The woman asked the cowboy if it's true<br />what they say about men with big feet.<br /><br />The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is,<br />little lady! Why don't you come on out to the<br />bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"<br /><br />The woman wanted to find out for herself,<br />so she spent the night with him.<br /><br />The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.<br />Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am.<br />Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me<br />fer mah services before,"<br /><br />The woman replied, "Don't be flattered... take<br />the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."
