SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
During a recent publicity outing, Christy sneaked <br />off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. <br />In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, <br />the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way <br />to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself <br />to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and<br />horrible death this year."<br /><br />Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined <br />face, then at the single flickering candle, then down <br />at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose <br />herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune <br />teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her.<br /><br />"Will I be acquitted?"<br />__________________________________________________<br />THEN AND NOW<br /><br />Then: Long hair.<br />Now: Longing for hair.<br /><br />Then: Keg.<br />Now: EKG.<br /><br />Then: Acid rock.<br />Now: Acid reflux.<br /><br />Then: Moving to California because it's cool.<br />Now: Moving to California because it's warm.<br /><br />Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.<br />Now: Getting a new hip joint.<br /><br />Then: Mood Stones.<br />Now: Kidney Stones.<br /><br />Then: Parents begging you to get a haircut.<br />Now: Children begging you to get their head shaved.<br /><br />Then: Passing the driving test.<br />Now: Passing the vision test.<br />__________________________________________________<br />Quote of the day:<br />"Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry<br />detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out?<br />Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys<br />can't even get the DETERGENT white!"
