SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Henpecked Husbands"<br /><br />He wears the pants in the house - under his apron.<br /><br />He has two chances of winning an argument<br />with her, slim and none.<br /><br />She leads a double life - hers and his.<br /><br />He comes right out and says what she tells<br />him to think.<br /><br />She does not have to raise the roof; all she has<br />to do is raise an eyebrow.<br /><br />He always has the last word - he says, "I apologize."<br /><br />He was a man about town, she has turned him<br />into a mouse around the house.<br /><br />The last big decision she let him make was whether<br />to wash or to dry.<br /><br />He put a ring on her finger and she put one through<br />his nose.<br /><br />He was a dude before marriage - now he is subdued.<br /><br />He married her for her looks, but not the kind he's<br />getting now.<br /><br />She lost her thumb in an accident and sued for<br />$100,000, because it was the thumb she had<br />him under.<br /><br />She even complains about the noise he makes,<br />when he is fixing his own breakfast.<br /><br />He goes to a woman dentist - it's a relief to be<br />told to open his mouth instead of to shut it.<br /><br />Every once in awhile she comes to him on her<br />bent knees. She dares him to come out from<br />under the bed.<br />__________________________________________________<br />"Birth Control"<br /><br />"I've had it with my wife." said the one drinking<br />buddy to the other. "I'm filing for an divorce."<br /><br />"Sorry to hear that pal." said his partner. "May<br />I ask why?"<br /><br />"I found her supply of birth control pills." said<br />the first.<br /><br />"Listen Frank, with all due respect to your<br />religion, I just can't see leaving your wife for<br />what the Church says is a sin."<br /><br />"It ain't just that." stormed Frank. "I had a<br />vasectomy over five years ago."
