pjc
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2003
- Messages
- 1,856
For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity, you gotta love these...<br /><br />2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....<br /><br />3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.<br /><br />4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?<br /><br />5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.<br /><br />6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.<br /><br />7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?<br /><br />8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?<br /><br />9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it a hostage taking situation?<br /><br />10. Is there another word for synonym?<br /><br />11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"<br /><br />12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?<br /><br />13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?<br /><br />14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?<br /><br />15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?<br /><br />16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?<br /><br />17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?<br /><br />18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?<br /><br />19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?<br />(Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me I know there's a logical explanation, but it escapes me)<br /><br />20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?<br /><br />21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?<br /><br />22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.<br /><br />23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?<br /><br />24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?<br /><br />25. How is it possible to have a civil war?<br /><br />26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?<br /><br />27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?<br /><br />28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?<br /><br />29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?<br /><br />30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?<br /><br />31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?<br /><br />32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?<br /><br />33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?<br /><br />34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God<br /><br />35. Why is abbreviation such a long word?<br /><br /> 
