LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether<br />they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or<br />students...here is something to make you chuckle.<br /><br />Whenever your children are out of control, you can<br />take comfort from the thought that even God's<br />omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After<br />creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.<br />And<br />the first thing he said was "DON'T!"<br /><br />"Don't what?" Adam replied.<br /><br />"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.<br /><br />"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey<br />Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"<br /><br />"No Way!"<br /><br />"Yes way!"<br /><br />"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.<br /><br />"Why"<br /><br />"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied,<br />wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making<br />the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His<br />children having an apple break and He was ticked!<br /><br />"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.<br /><br />"Uh huh," Adam replied.<br /><br />"Then why did you?" said the Father.<br /><br />"I don't know," said Eve.<br /><br />"She started it!" Adam said<br /><br />"Did not!"<br /><br />"Did too!"<br /><br />"DID NOT!"<br /><br />Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment<br />was that Adam and Eve should have children of their<br />own. Thus the pattern was set in motion and it has<br />never changed.<br /><br />BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!<br /><br />If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give<br />children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be<br />hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children,<br />what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for<br />you?<br /><br />THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!<br /><br />1. You spend the first two years of their life<br />teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the<br />next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.<br /><br />2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your<br />own children.<br /><br />3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat<br />their young.<br /><br />4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually<br /><br />repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.<br /><br />5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is<br />to remind yourself that there are children more awful<br />than your own.<br /><br />6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still<br />getting in.<br /><br />ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will<br />choose your nursing home.<br /><br />AND FINALLY: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:<br /><br />"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN" 
