Men Are Just Happier People<br /><br />>>> ><br />>>> >What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name<br /><br />>>stays put.<br /><br />>>> >The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.<br /><br />>>Chocolate<br /><br />>>> >is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be<br /><br />>>pregnant.<br /><br />>>> >You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO<br /><br />>>shirt to a<br /><br />>>> >water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your<br /><br />>>urinal.<br /><br />>>> >You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because<br /><br />>>this one<br /><br />>>> >is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way<br /><br />>>to turn a<br /><br />>>> >nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.<br />>>> >Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.<br /><br />>>People never<br /><br />>>> >stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional<br />>>> >well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't<br /><br />>>cut, blister,<br /><br />>>> >or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone<br /><br />>>conversations are over<br /><br />>>> >in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day<br /><br />>>vacation<br /><br />>>> >requires<br />>>> >only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get<br /><br />>>extra credit for<br /><br />>>> >the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to<br /><br />>>invite you, he<br /><br />>>> >or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a<br /><br />>>three-pack.<br /><br />>>> >Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never<br /><br />>>have strap<br /><br />>>> >problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your<br /><br />>>clothes.<br /><br />>>> >Everything on your face stays its original color. The same<br /><br />>>hairstyle lasts<br /><br />>>> >for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and<br /><br />>>neck. You<br /><br />>>> >can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your<br /><br />>>big hips.<br /><br />>>> >One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.<br /><br />>>You can wear<br /><br />>>> >shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails<br /><br />>>with a pocket<br /><br />>>> >knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a<br /><br />>>mustache. You can<br /><br />>>> >do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25<br /><br />>>minutes.<br /><br />>>> >No wonder men are happier.<br /><br /><br /> 