WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK <br /><br />Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. <br /><br />Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. <br /><br />Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. <br /><br />What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. <br /><br />So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. <br /><br />If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there. <br /><br />Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse. <br /><br />Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone. <br /><br />Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. <br /><br />Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny. <br /><br />Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. <br /><br />The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. <br /><br />If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books. <br /><br />A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night". <br /><br />Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with. <br /><br />Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his. <br /><br />If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing. <br /><br />When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."
