Wal-Mart Greeter

[bhammer]

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Heck no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the heck would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

 

[QC]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

LOL

 

[Bass Man Bruce]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

LOL!
I'm gonna half to remember that one for when I am shopping at Wal Mart.

 

[S. Toth]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Lmao:d

 

[Gary H NC]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Dang!!! That was a good one!!!
Typical Walmart shopper though...I go there for the entertainment....

 

[dnifedem85]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Hilarious and quick thinking! When the weather is bad and I can not get my entertainment at the marina or watching idiots at the ramp, I head to Wal-mart. In college I would go to Wal-mart at 3am with my friends to see what creatures would come out of hiding. Thats what happens when you grow up in a small town...

 

[Bart Sr.]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

That has been posted before. Doesn't make it any less funny though.

 

[AluminumFalcon]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Classic

 

[bucky7680]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

I too go to Wally's late at night, after getting off work at 11pm, to see all the strange people. Then I realize that I'm there and they're looking at me???

 

[CheapboatKev]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

print this and take it w/you to WM

 

[bhammer]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

print this and take it w/you to WM

Bingo...
Bingo....
Bingo.....

Hey, what do I get for filling the whole Bingo card.

 

[Knot Waiting]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

For real!? That is too funny, lol. Quick reflex.

 

[dave11]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Seems like a reasonable observation to me.

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

our town is so small that for excitement we go to wal-mart and watch them off load trailers.

 

[Wotknot]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Ah yes, Wal-Mart. Reminds me of the time that my uncle, my brother-n-law, and I went there to pick up some lures before heading out fishing. As we?re looking on the shelves, I notice an extremely rank odor and say something. My bro-n-law says, ?Yeah there?s the stink bait over there, must be an open one somewhere. And folks, when I say ?rank?, I mean EXTREMELY RANK.

I watch this other guy start to come down the aisle. Suddenly I can see his face go all gnarly and he says something about it really stinking. He doesn?t hang around long and he leaves.

After picking out the lures we head back up front to the checkout. As were standing there as she scans the stuff, my uncle looks at us and says, ?That was me.? I ask, ?What??
He says, ?Back there in the fishing aisle, that was me.? I looked at my bro-n-law, he looks at me, and we begin cracking up. The checker must have thought that we were nuts. We left there with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard. Needless to say, my uncle rode in the back seat when we left.

 

[triumphrick]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Dang!!! That was a good one!!!
Typical Walmart shopper though...I go there for the entertainment....

X2^^^^^^^^^

Yeah, I just hate to maneuver through the parking lots. No matter how far out you park, some douche-bag eases in next to you close enough you can't open your door...only one of my many WM rants...

 

[Tim Frank]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

Walmart Greeter joke, guess this fits then? Oldy but goody....edited for PC and hair colour genericity....

A <non-specific hair-colour> decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the <non-specific hair-colour> begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter runs out and pulls out the plug.

 

[Shizzy]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

print this and take it w/you to WM

THAT is getting printed off......

 

[skargo]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

THAT was awesome!

 

[ne7800]

Re: Wal-Mart Greeter

If your ever feeling down on your self judt go yo wal mart and look around your bound to see someone worse off than you