Re: Free Haggis at work today....yuck!
Hmmmmm, that isn't a bad recipe but it isn't genuine Haggis. It should contain pork lung too.<br /><br />Of course you've to got realise that the butcher is making artificial haggis. Real haggis or Haggi: plural) are caught only on Rannoch Moor in Scotland. You can talk all you want about how hard fishing is but try and catch a haggis and then tell me how hard it is! Fishing is EASY compared to haggis stalking!<br /><br />The conditions must be just right:<br /><br />1. You need to have a licence from the Department for Rural Affairs (this allows you to make love to the farmer whose land you'll be hunting on).<br /><br />2. The moon has to be in it's third phase, it's usually best to wait until the fourth hour of the third phase.<br /><br />3. The air temperature must be lower than -10'C but higher than -12.326'C.<br /><br />4. There has to be a High Tide.<br /><br />5. The haggis must have been informed in writing, in triplicate, at least 28 days prior to the date you intend to hunt it, of your intentions, the type of ammunition you will be using, the number in the hunting party, the area you will be hunting in and the number of women who will be with (minimum requirement is for two women to one man).<br /><br />6. All hunters must douse themselves (head to foot) in Strathspey Single Malt Whisky: this is the only scent which haggi will not run away from.<br /><br />7. Boots, shoes, crampons, gaiters are forbidden and the hunting party can only wear mocassins made from haggis skin.<br /><br />8. Your weapons may consist of: a crossbow without a drawstring, a tennis racquet-unstrung, a JCB 360' digger, a Claymore APM, or a string quartet from the Scottish Operatic Society.<br /><br />9. Once a haggis is in the air (ie, flying) you are forbidden from hunting it.<br /><br />10. At least one member of the hunting party must be trained in martial arts.<br /><br />11. At least one member of the party should be trained in first aid (in case the haggi swarm and attack).<br /><br />12. At least one member of the party should be from Leith, Edinburgh.<br /><br />13. At least two members of the party should be over the age of 95.<br /><br />14. At least one member of the party should be a serving Justice of the Peace.<br /><br />15. Blindfolds must be worn at all times.......<br /><br /><br />Now, from this you can ascertain two things:<br /><br /><br />1. The Haggis is a very difficult beast to catch.<br /><br /><br />2. One of us was at a Burn's Supper last night and may have drunk more whisky than was healthy

Hic!