Ya'll have probably seen this one, but I really like it! 
<br /><br />A BAD AMERICAN <br />by George Carlin <br /><br />I Am Your Worst Nightmare. <br />I am a BAD American. <br />I am George Carlin. <br /><br /> <br /><br />I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some <br />mid-level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! <br /><br />I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, darn it! <br /> <br />I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart <br />American. <br /><br />I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does <br />not entitle you to anything. <br /><br />I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English. <br /> <br />I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. <br /> <br />I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment <br />than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to <br />put your pansy a$$ through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be <br />enlightened. <br /><br />I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where <br />they want to. <br /> <br />My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled <br />Jerry Springer. <br /><br />I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. <br /> <br />I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. <br /> <br />I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, <br />when I'm freezing my a$$ off during these long winters and paying, paying, <br />paying? <br /> <br />I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I didn't wander forty years in <br />the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches <br />or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-He11-up <br />already. <br /><br />I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse <br />Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the <br />problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? <br /><br />I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry a$$ if you're <br />running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your a$$ over if <br />you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. <br /><br />I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want <br />you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for <br />the next four years. <br /> <br />I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me <br />crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These <br />people should be targets. <br /><br />I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two <br />parents. <br /><br />I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies <br />even if you are President of the United States. <br /><br />And what the he11 is going on with gas prices... again? <br /> <br />If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. <br /> <br /><br />We need our country back!
<br /><br />A BAD AMERICAN <br />by George Carlin <br /><br />I Am Your Worst Nightmare. <br />I am a BAD American. <br />I am George Carlin. <br /><br /> <br /><br />I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some <br />mid-level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! <br /><br />I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, darn it! <br /> <br />I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart <br />American. <br /><br />I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does <br />not entitle you to anything. <br /><br />I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English. <br /> <br />I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. <br /> <br />I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment <br />than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to <br />put your pansy a$$ through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be <br />enlightened. <br /><br />I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where <br />they want to. <br /> <br />My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled <br />Jerry Springer. <br /><br />I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. <br /> <br />I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. <br /> <br />I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, <br />when I'm freezing my a$$ off during these long winters and paying, paying, <br />paying? <br /> <br />I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I didn't wander forty years in <br />the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches <br />or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-He11-up <br />already. <br /><br />I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse <br />Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the <br />problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? <br /><br />I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry a$$ if you're <br />running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your a$$ over if <br />you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. <br /><br />I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want <br />you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for <br />the next four years. <br /> <br />I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me <br />crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These <br />people should be targets. <br /><br />I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two <br />parents. <br /><br />I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies <br />even if you are President of the United States. <br /><br />And what the he11 is going on with gas prices... again? <br /> <br />If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. <br /> <br /><br />We need our country back!
