When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it<br /> out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know-take it out on<br /> someone you don't know.<br /> <br /> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to<br /> make. I found the number and dialed it.<br /> <br /> A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "Could I please speak<br /> with Robin Carter?"<br /> <br /> Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone<br /> could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down<br /> Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the<br /> last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided<br /> to call the 'wrong' number again.<br /> <br /> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a#@hole!" and<br /> hung up.<br /> <br /> I wrote his number down with the word 'a#@hole' next to it, and put it in<br /> my desk drawer.<br /> <br /> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd<br /> call him up and yell, "You're an a#@hole!" It always cheered me up.<br /> <br /> When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'a#@hole' calling<br /> would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John<br /> Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're<br /> familiar with the Caller ID program?"<br /> <br /> He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and<br /> said, "That's because you're an a#@hole!"<br /> <br /> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some<br /> guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently<br /> waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that<br /> spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . . so,<br /> I wrote down his number.<br /> <br /> A couple of days later, right after calling the first a#@hole ( I had his<br /> number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW a#@hole, too.<br /> <br /> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"<br /> <br /> "Yes, it is."<br /> <br /> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"<br /> <br /> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's<br /> parked right out in front."<br /> <br /> "What's your name?" I asked.<br /> <br /> "My name is Don Hansen," he said.<br /> <br /> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"<br /> <br /> "I'm home every evening after five."<br /> <br /> "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"<br /> <br /> "Yes?"<br /> <br /> "Don, you're an a#@hole."<br /> <br /> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had<br /> a problem, I had two a#@holes to call.<br /> <br /> But after several weeks of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used<br /> to be.<br /> <br /> So, I came up with an idea. I called A#@hole #1.<br /> <br /> "Hello."<br /> <br /> "You're an a#@hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)<br /> <br /> "Are you still there?" he asked.<br /> <br /> "Yeah," I said.<br /> <br /> "Stop calling me," he screamed.<br /> <br /> "Make me," I said.<br /> <br /> "Who are you?" he asked.<br /> <br /> "My name is Don Hansen."<br /> <br /> "Yeah? Where do you live?"<br /> <br /> "A#@hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black<br /> Beamer parked in front."<br /> <br /> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying<br /> your prayers."<br /> <br /> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a#@hole."<br /> <br /> Then I called A#@hole #2.<br /> <br /> "Hello?" he said.<br /> <br /> "Hello, a#@hole," I said.<br /> <br /> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"<br /> <br /> "You'll what?" I said.<br /> <br /> "I'll kick your ARSE," he exclaimed.<br /> <br /> I answered, "Well, a$#hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."<br /> <br /> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at<br /> 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay<br /> lover.<br /> <br /> Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th<br /> Street.<br /> <br /> I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.<br /> <br /> When I got there, I saw two a#@holes beating the crap out of each other in<br /> front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.<br /> <br /> NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best. 
