Another deer hunting story

Tyme2fish

Commander
Joined
Feb 19, 2002
Messages
2,481
It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, ?What are you up to?? Alice smiles, ?I'm going hunting with you!? Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along.
They arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: ?If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.? Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant -- much less a deer.
But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, ?Get away from my deer!? Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, ?Get away from my deer!? followed by another volley of gunfire.
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, ?Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!?
 

aspeck

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
19,131
Re: Another deer hunting story

Are you sure that wasn't Rod and his blonde wife??? :D

Love it! :D :D
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
Staff member
Joined
May 19, 2001
Messages
26,066
Re: Another deer hunting story

:) I like it!
 

HAV2FISH

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
519
Re: Another deer hunting story

I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The third thing I learned, the only upside, is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this , since the blood flowing out of the
big gash in my head mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison.I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between that deer and me. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it line back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

The fourth thing I learned!!!! Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the biceps out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet, strike right about head, and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you cannot get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Lesson six... Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.
 

HAV2FISH

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
519
Re: Another deer hunting story

A friend of mine sent it to me today in a e-mail and it just fit.
 

Tyme2fish

Commander
Joined
Feb 19, 2002
Messages
2,481
Re: Another deer hunting story

That explains (doesn't condone) half of your post. Now about your screen name.........

I will be keeping a close eye on you Hav:D:D:D
 

HAV2FISH

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
519
Re: Another deer hunting story

Dont spend to much Tyme on it i hav2 be on Brookville lake this weekend.:D:D:D
 

tallcanadian

Captain
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
3,250
Re: Another deer hunting story

lol ne7800. i was being kind. maybe stalker is the right term? lol
 

ne7800

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Jul 10, 2008
Messages
1,195
Re: Another deer hunting story

Well i'm not stalking Tyme, no sie ey bob not me. by the way tyme you left your porch light on :eek::eek:
 

Tyme2fish

Commander
Joined
Feb 19, 2002
Messages
2,481
Re: Another deer hunting story

My Porsche's dome light is burned out. So there.:D (Did I spell Porsche correct?):confused:
 

tallcanadian

Captain
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
3,250
Re: Another deer hunting story

better hide your pet rabbit. may find it boiling on your stove.
 
Top