Tyme2fish
Commander
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2002
- Messages
- 2,481
BRAIN CRAMPS<br /><br /><br />(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)<br />Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?<br /><br />Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not <br />live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, <br />then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, <br />which is why I would not live forever,"<br />--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids <br />all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love <br />to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and <br />death and stuff." <br />--Mariah Carey<br /><br /> <br /><br />"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very <br />important part of your life,"<br />--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become <br />Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br />"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part <br />of my body," <br />--Winston Bennett, <br /> University of Kentucky basketball forward.<br /><br /> <br />"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the <br />lowest crime rates in the country,"<br />--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br />"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through <br />our papers. We are the president." (we are????)<br />--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of <br /> subpoenaed documents.<br /><br /><br /> <br />"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death <br />by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"<br />--A congressional candidate in Texas.<br /><br /><br /> <br />"Half this game is ninety percent mental."<br />--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark<br /><br /><br /> <br />"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's <br />the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."<br />--Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !) and he wanted to be <br /> President!!!!!!!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." <br />does he know where he almost grew up???.....<br /> --Dan Quayle<br /><br /><br /><br />"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much <br />clean air do we need?" (I say all we can get, I'll <br />take his clean air)<br />--Lee Iacocca<br /><br /><br /> <br />"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A <br />genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -<br />--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.<br /><br /><br /><br />"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude <br />certain types of people." (Oh, well that's different, I <br />think)??????<br />--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.<br /><br /><br /><br />"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." <br />(really???????)<br />--Bill Clinton, President <br /><br /><br />"We are ready for an unforeseen event that <br />may or may not occur."<br />--Al Gore, VP (Gee but he's smart)<br /><br /><br /><br />"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come <br />from overseas."<br />--Keppel Enderbery<br /><br /><br /><br />"Your food stamps will be stopped effective <br />March 1992 because we received notice that <br />you passed away. May God bless you. You may <br />reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."<br />--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br />"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack <br />in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their <br />heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when<br />they wake up dead, there'll be a record."<br />--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman<br />,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,