Re: Bumper Stickers.
>1. Constipated People Don't Give A Sh**.<br />>2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.<br />>3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.<br />>4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?<br />>5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.<br />>6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point<br />>7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little<br />>Better.<br />>8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.<br />>9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.<br />>10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.<br />>11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek<br />>Counseling.<br />>12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".<br />>13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.<br />>14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.<br />>15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.<br />>16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My A**.<br />>17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me<br />>18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home<br />>19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha<br />>20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me<br />>21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time<br />>22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult<br />>23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?<br />>24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name<br />>25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway<br />>26. Illiterate? Write For Help<br />>27. Honk If Anything Falls Off<br />>28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes<br />>29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit<br />>30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person<br />>31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!<br />>32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To<br />>33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?<br />>37. If Sex Is A Pain In The A**, Then You're Doing It Wrong...<br />>38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!<br />>39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down<br />>on a<br />>Jeep]<br />>40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70<br />>mph.<br />>41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge<br />>42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like<br />>Jabba<br />>The Hut?<br />>43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.<br />>44. Ax Me About Ebonics<br />>45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel<br />>46. Boldly Going Nowhere<br />>47. Cat: The Other White Meat<br />>48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde<br />>49. Don't Be Sexist - *****es Hate That<br />>50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.<br />>51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window<br />>52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?<br />>53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them with Bullets.><br />>54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In touch<br />>55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!<br />>56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.<br />>57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.<br />>58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.<br />>59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them<br />>60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.<br />>61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.<br />>62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.<br />>63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.<br />>64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?<br />>65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Here is one that just cracked me up.<br /><br />Sure I will hand over my gun........Bullets first.<br /> 
