Dumb Human Tricks (THE ORIGINAL POST)

[SMURPHY]

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Great Stories - lots of lessons learned.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing<br /><br />Shawn

 

[ahsah]

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Thought I'd add a couple . . . . <br />Sharon and I had bought our third sailboat, we planned a little vacation with her and were going to stay out all week. Loaded her up with food water etc. we were out the first or second day and we were taking turns cooking. To save space and time we had bought dehydrated onions - instead of the real thing. We started putting them on everything, in eggs for breakfast; hamburgers for lunch; what ever - we used lots of them. <br /><br />Don't know if any of you have had any experience with this stuff but it gives you the most rottenest - foulest - gas you ever smelled in your life . . . And it was too late by the time we discovered it we had eaten 3-4 meals of it. It was sooo bad we had to go topside to pass-gas. But it was so rotten it followed you back in, so did a hundred mosquitos each time. It was so foul it would wake you up at night if you passed gas in your sleep. It took the rest of the week to get the stuff out of our systems. <br /><br />We still laugh about it<br /><br />Do you know some buddys going on a fishing trip - whip 'em up a pot pot-o-baked beans with lots and lots of dehydrated onions - they'll thank you for it when they get back <br /><br />Second one, my uncle brought his two young boys up to go walleye fishing at Gun Lake in Mich. (lived there at the time, now Iowa). My brother went fishing with them. The two boys were fighting the whole time and yelling at each other. The older one brings his rod over his head and goes to cast it; but it gets stuck on something behind him - so he is trying to free it buy yanking on it (kind of like trying to land a fish behind you - not looking of course). All the while his younger brother is screaming at him - but then he had been yelling all day anyway. <br /><br />He had hooked the brother in the cheek with a trebble hook. About this time all * * * * breaks loose, my uncle and his two boys are all involved in a what seemed like a wrestling match, the older boy trips and goes down in the boat - and gets tangled in the line. Now he is floundering around down there wrapping himself up in the line and putting severe stress on the line with his brother hooked at the other end, and his dad fumbling in his pocket for his knife.<br /><br />My uncle had to go into the boys mouth and snip off the end of the hook to get it out. <br /><br />Hope you all enjoyed these as much as I have writing/re-reading them. And all the others too.<br /><br />Capt'n Steve

 

[GoneFishin']

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Here's a scary one...<br />Me & my high school buddy took his new 22' Mako out for a test run. His Dad bought the boat, but didn't have the time to test it. So what the heck, he told us to take it out. It was a used boat with a new Johnson 175. We had a full tank of gas, so we cruised & fished just about everywhere. We started inland & moved to the short rigs (6 miles or so.) then moved back inland again. We slowed down to go under a draw bridge & then the dang thing would not plane! It turned out to be a makeshift patch in the hull that we didn't know was there. The patch fell off & the hull filled up with water! Dang near never got that thing up out of the boat ramp! It drained for 30 minutes!<br /><br />------------------<br />See ya later... I'm GoneFishin'

 

[Ranger354]

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You guys are killing me......<br /><br />One day when I was 10 or 11 my father took my brother and I fishing on the Nueces River above Lake Corpus Christi. We had some close friends with a cabin and a nice ramp on their property. We had rigged the boat and my brother and I were watching as my father back the trailer and chevy blazer between the large oaks that were scattered thru the yard. Just as the trailer tires started into the water we heard this terrible sound of ripping steel. It seems dad had left the drivers side door open and it caught on one of those oaks. Peeled it back like a beer can! As I recall we had a great day fishing.<br /><br />Now since that time some 30 years ago I have been the one to back the trailer down the ramp. Just purchased a used (new to me) boat. ON the second trip to the lake I backed her down the ramp and jumped it to fire her up. After warming her up I throw her in reverse just like I have done thousands of times to many boats. She won't budge. I scratch my head and check the winch hook. It is NOT attached so I throw her in reverse again. Still won't budge. Just about then it dawns on me that I have forgotten to unlatch the transom straps. Works like a charm everytime.

 

[Ranger354]

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This is on a buddy of mine.<br /><br />I own a Ranger Bass boat. My buddy owns a pickle fork ski/race boat. He has worked on this thing for the last few months and it looks great. The other day we were out at the lake. My 5 year old son and I in my boat and my buddy and his wife in his. After running around the lake in our boats we stopped to float a bit and he throws out his anchor. 30 minutes later we decide to head back in so we jump in the boats and take off. As we hit plane he cuts in front of me a little and then shuts her down. I make a U turn and see that he has his engine up looking at his skeg. He asks if it is broken off because his boat is acting funny. I told him it would run better without the anchor in the water. We all had a good laugh.

 

[Viper]

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I don't know if this will bring it up to the top or not, but here goes - just last weekend.<br /><br />At Boat Ramp putting in (3 ramps) next to me is this nice Nautica Ski Boat with 4 teenagers putting it in. They did a great job backing it in. They let it out on winch roap to check engine. He started it - no problem. All of a sudden the guy driving the truck (air conditioning and radio blaring) starts to pull forward, dragging the ski boat up onto the ramp. It ends up leaning to one side with the prop broken and the shaft bent. Ouch. Took a tow truck to pick up boat to put it back on trailer to drag it home. Bet they caught S+++ at home

 

[yensid]

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This has been too amusing. I should share some of my idiot moves.<br /><br />First one - I had a cheap little used boat I had bought, 14' fiberglass. I launched it, it starting filling with water, so I quick check the plug. It's in, so that's not it. Hmmm...I pull it back out, and walk around it, and see one of the rollers tilted up and poking straight through the hull of the boat! Well, coming around the tight circle they had to the boat launch, I had clipped the curb a bit, and the boat must have bounced up off the rollers and one of them tilted up so it came down right on it! At least it was only a $125 boat And I did manage to patch it.<br /><br />That's another funny story. Despite what the illustrations show with a bondo fiberglass patch kit, don't get the resin on your hands! You can work it for a little bit, then you have a whole lot of burning pain to go through and getting that stuff off the skin is NOT fun!<br /><br />OK, last one. I was out with my wife fishing on our bass boat, and I had come back from my seat up front to help her with a line tangle. After fixing that, since I was by the console anyways, we decided it would be a good time to move. So I hauled up the anchor and took off. We planed out, and suddenly a huge spray of water is drenching the entire inside of the boat! I quickly stop, and realize I had left the transom mounted trolling motor down when I came back When you plane out and it goes back in the water, it sure kicks up some spray! Luckily, nothing was damaged....

 

[stinger1]

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BUMP TO THE TOP<br />MAN THIS STUFF IS GREAT<br />BETTER THAN LETTERMAN

 

[12Footer]

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Well, I finally got that Merc 115HP inline 6 going. The owner's son drove down to pick it up....He had a Ford F350 diesel, dualey with a trailer hitch 2 1/2feet off the ground.<br />I tried to get him to raise the engine all the way, and leave-off the transom saver because it left it too low.<br />The skeg was ony 3" off the ground.<br />Nope. I have a gouge in my driveway,and all the intersections to the "main drag".<br />Get it?? Main drag? Yup. All three have this ugly white gouge line through the intersections.<br />He told me he would call me when he got it home...He never called me. Hmm, I wonder if he made it and just forgot to call.

 

[choat]

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Ok ill try to make this one short..my first little boat was an 11 foot coleman crawdad..it fit in the back of my van and could fish two comfratbley. My wifes cousin (gus)and I take it out one sunday to the guadalupe river(lake dunlap) we fish for about an hour and I get my lure stuck in a tree. A couple of yanks and it clears the tree and burys into my finger..this thing isnt coming out..I cut most of the hook and leave the piece that I cant get out to deal with later..we continue fishing..30 minutes later Gus gets stuck in a tree before I can do or say anything he clears his lure and it burys into my back (shoulderblade area) one hook on each treble(my shirt is on) this thing is not coming out and through my shirt you cant see anything..to make it worse I had flinched because I saw it coming so now I cannot put my arm down because it streches the skin that the HOOKS are in Ouch..so we are done for the day. Gus drives the boat I sit in front and keep my arm to my chest..Well we bump into a game warden who pulls up and asks for boat card and fishing licenses..I ask for help he laughs his a** off. He told me I probably need to go to the emergency room or somthing..and writes Gus a ticket for no Fishing licence..(I had no idea) get home Wife dies laughing and takes me to the ER. The nurses,DR. ,and patients have a good laugh seeing a guy with a POPR stuck in his back and a hook sticking out of his finger..the DR. gives me some shots to ease the pain cuts my shirt off.. backs the hooks out of me and chunks the POPR into the hazordus waste bin(my dog was my fishing buddy after that)..True story<br /> Eric

 

[hodgejr]

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ok, another plug story....<br /><br />This happened yesterday! A friend of mine was about to test drive his 18 ft. Sea ray (i think it was) which he rebuilt bottom up by himself. So he backed into the water, ties it up to the pier, parks his truck. When he gets back ,he's screamin that it's sinkin! And sure enough, water was pourin in, even the bilge couldn't keep the water out. So...<br /> He runs and grabs the truck. I had to kick some guy off the ramp, after notifying of the emergency. After much effort we get it back on the trailor and sure enough...the plug was off!!! <br /><br />He was so ill-prepared he didn't even know what a plug is! That same day his engine died and he couldn't get the prop down from the up position. Got it fixed over his cellphone.<br /><br />On another note...5 days to Sanibel!!!

 

[Trailbum]

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You Guys are killin' me here!!!!!<br /> Last week my Daughter and I were up on Moosehead Lake in Maine. We were kayaking just off a rocky point when I found an entire prop with the driveshaft and lower drive gear still attached in about 6 inches of water. Would have loved to see it happen. It sure ruined somebody's day!!!! Also was sitting on the cliffs of a mountain right on the lake back in '85. Watched a small boat go through a rocky area at full speed. Heard the lower unit hit the rocks before it went dead in the water. They began drifting across the lake and we could hear the poor guys wife yelling at him from way up on the mountain.<br /> I'm new to this boating thing and haven't done anything stupid yet, but i'm sure I eventually will..... just look at my signature!!!!

 

[Admin5]

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You all have posted so many funny stories that we decided to start a forum just to continue with the fun. Just go to http://www.iboats.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=forum&f=23

 

[jgrigs99]

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went fishing the other day with my daughter's friend in the boat(she is 15).<br />She was sitting on the rear seat (14' Vee-hull) and I told her that while I put the boat in the water a little water may leak thru the drain hole. I said not to worry.<br />As I went to park my truck and trailer she asked ,"just how much water should come in that hoel thing?"<br />At this instant I remembered not putting the drain plug in <br />By the time I got to the boat we had taken on about 15 gallons of water. <br />Luckily there was no one else around but my family. And all of you know a family can be so forgiving, yeh right!!

 

[snooker]

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New boater stupid,<br /> I just bought my 1st boat ( other than a jon boat)...My brother was visiting from out west , living on the Gulf I wanted to show them a good time and take them out in my boat...So my brother,his wife,13 yr old daughter,my wife,my 9 yr old son and myself,get ready to take off My brother says , "hey theres water in the boat, you have the plug in" oh crap no I dont, freaking out forget the bilge pump,grab the plug jump into 12 foot of water,drop the plug,,dive down to tryn fing it , ya right....grab my car and trailer , get the boat back on the trailer,, drain the water ,, a guy gives me a plug,,by now I'm feeling pretty sick about the whole idea, and were off..... out in the inter coastal having a pretty good time,, we tie up to an island, swim, have a nice lunch,a couple Mikes hard lemonades,mmm, just hang out .. beautiful day out,,,,we stay there about 2 hours , decide its time to go , we have plans for the night. Get in the boat, the battery is dead, we left the key on , lifting the prop, (even thought you dont need it on,duh...)they are saying spend $150 on Sea Tow,,they are not real happy, Im like forget it..we have now had too much sun... ... We spend 2 hours tryn to get some one to come around and jump the battery, finally someone does,,start to take off, the back of the boat is pulling way down, the water behind the boat is huge, I THINK WE'RE SINKING! turn to dock on the island before we BEFORE WE ALL DROWN,, My brother says .. wait.. your prop isnt down,,I stop put the prop down,, and we get the boat back to the dock,,,ya we're alive..<br />My brother says, "well we are going back to the hotel,take a nap, you take care of your boat , see ya tonight for dinner"...<br />

 

[R L PLAYER]

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We go down to Black Creek to do some fishing in my 17'G3 aluminum bass boat.Not much of a ramp no place to stay out of water.I play out line so we can let boat float off trailer.My girlfriend is supposed to hold on to rope,she does,nt.I pull trailer out with truck look back to see boat floating away.My girlfriend panics jumps into creek until she,s over her head.Realizes she can,t swim and gets back on land.Luckily another boat grabs boat for me.We had a nice day of fishing.

 

[lenpilot]

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This just happened about a week ago. I bought a new trailer cause the one that the marina sold me for my 21' ofshore center console was way too small. I kept moving both trailers around in order to adjust the bunks etc. on the new trailer. <br /><br />Finally the time comes to head to the nearest boat ramp and switch trailers. With two trucks and a friend I put the boat in and then remove it on the new trailer. I braged to my buddy about not having even gotten my feet wet.<br /><br /> The ramp was deserted so I pulled up to the top of the hill and we start moving the winch stand and other things. just then I decide to put the boat back in the water to level it. As I start backing up my buddy starts to panic. I look back to see my boat and brand new trailer heading down the hill all by theirselves completely detached from the truck. The boat turned a curve and went straight down the ramp hitting the water at the perfect angle and washing down the back half of the deck.<br /><br />It seems I had forgot to attach the safety chains or even lock down the coupler when I was moving the trailers around earlier. after diving to the trailer to tie a rope I could no longer claim to have dry feet

 

[BillT111]

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My Wife and Boats.....<br /><br />This is my first trip to this forum.<br />Some of the stories age great!!<br />I've been a boater for many years and seen most everything from non-englich speaking family in a small cruiser ramming their trailer at 25mph, to drunks coming in so loaded they were to drunk to fish(I called the law for them!!!)<br /><br />Well here's a tid-bit maybe some of you can relate to...<br />My wife of 8 years hasn't done much boating,,but has really tried to learn to help loading and unloading the boat off the trailer and she "USUALLY" does well driving the boat on and off the trailer...WELL...... <br />We were at our favorite lake mid summer last year unloading off the trailer, my wife in the boat as she hasnt mastered driving with a trailer, the lake is down some so I tell her to keep the O/B trimmed up.<br />Well I back her and the boat in,,deeper...deeper,,,,.deeper.<br />The motor is racing...I can see the back of the boat floating from where I sit in the van. I'm waving her to back it off the trailer,I go even deeper in the water..No Luck...."Whats the deal????" all the straps and winch are free, plug is in....mmmmmmmmm<br />I jump out of the van,,wade into the water.<br />My wife is hollering..."I can't get it off thr trailer",,I yell at yer to keep the motor trimmed up becauce of low water and unseen rocks,,,the boat should be floating right off as deep as the trailer is in...<br /><br /><br />mmmmmmmmm,,,I look behind the boat and she's got the motor revved up to about 3000 rpm..<br /><br />I suddenly realize shes got it in forward in stead of reverse....so I holler at her....<br />null"Hey...BOAT QUEEN....TRY REVERSE!!!"<br /><br />I had to tell all our "lake friends" and they gave her so much grief...but was really a good sport!!!

 

[Ross J]

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Salesman at boat ramp explaining to buyer all the how too's. Buyer has bueatiful young woman aboard. Nice new Bayliner 18' boat all tied up ready to go. Salesman steps ashore, buyer guns the engine to high revs, boat lurches forward, buyer steers the bow out(or so he thinks), rear end smaks into the wharf and there goes 3' of the rear of the boat along and under the waterline. Never did see that boat stop, can only presume he realised he'd sink if he stopped there!<br />Ross

 

[wakatoa]

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Here but for the grace of god go I.<br /><br />Man had boat on old style trailer where there were sliders instead of rollers, boat has to be more or less floated off these trailers. Man wins brand new big Rayglass in competition nice trailer with wobble rollers etc. Launching off the beach he disconnects winch and safety chain before backing into the water as he always did with the old trailer. Moves boat, boat launches itself off trailer onto stoney beach. Ouch!!<br /><br />Man with Rayglass has friends help him push the boat tractor out of the shed. No one sitting on tractor. Much enthusiasm, a bit of drinking and not much thinking causes tractor to roll down the section across the road and into the river. Luckily no one on the road and low tide.<br /><br />Elderly couple launching boat, lady hanging onto bow while man starts engine etc.<br />Man goes astern, lady holding onto bow yelling at him. Lady finally lets go up to chest in water. Air is blue with abuse and expletives. Man carries on out to sea as though nothing unusual had happened.