How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

[Mark42]

My wife says I will have problems with my daughters boyfriends when she starts dating. Lucky for me she is only 6 now. But I have to admit it will be very hard to not get involved if I find out some guy is abusing or mistreating her. <br /><br />We plan on teaching her not to take any form of abuse from her boyfriend or spouse. Dump the guy and forget him.<br /><br />How do you parents handle your daughters relationships when you feel they are abusive or dangerous? Do you step in or not?

 

[one more cast]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

When me daughters first started dating I told the boys straight out that if anything happened to my daughters I was coming after them.

 

[magster65]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

I have a 3 year old boy but if I had a daughter I would do what OMC said. Sit the boyfriend down, look them in the eye and tell them that you mean business and if they 'toe the line' you'll be thier friend too. I think that the better you know the 'dates' the better... hopefully! It's a tough situation. Good luck.<br />On the same topic, a buddy of mine at work has 2 daughters aged 18 and 19 travelling Europe. Not together either... just on a walkabout. They call to say hi every so often to tell dad about the 'neat' guys they've met and to ask for more money too of course. I've only met the girls a couple times but they're not the sharpest knives in the drawer if you know what I mean. It's scary! His hair is gray and falling out and he's on the booze more now! <br />Hopefully you don't face that scenario!!!<br />Again... good luck Mark.

 

[Braxton]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

same as one more cast, i just added the colt 45 in the dialog. sofar two daughters 1 is 19 and one engaged to be married, she is 21 and no problems as of this time. and yes indeed Mark you can bet i was involved with almost everything. Good Luck Braxton

 

[KaGee]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Man, I'm glad I had boys.

 

[AzMeadMan]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Thankfully I haven't had that happen yet. She has only had two so far, the first one I liked the other was just so so. She dumped that one after he dropped out of school. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <br /><br />I do keep a close eye on her and her friends whenever I can. I make it known that they are all welcome at my house. Most days it seems I have at least 2 or 3 around. Even when she was dating they spent most of the time at my house. At least I know where she is and what she is doing. <br /><br />I hope I have given her enough self respect not to put up with that kind of behavior, but making it clear to the guys that you will not tolerate that is always a good idea. <br /><br />I find that on first meeting them, sitting on the couch cleaning a large assortment of guns, my USMC Flag hanging on the wall, wearing full camo gear, and mumbling about camel jockeys usually gets the point across. I use to use VC but they didn't get that one. <br /><br />I also make it a point of knowing where her friends live and meet the parents. At least you will know how to find them should you ever need to.

 

[Boomyal]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Mark, I think you are looking at this issue from the wrong perspective. I think your post should be titled "How do you handle your daughter? <br /><br />Treat her right, give her lots of love and ATTENTION. (thats as in quantity, not quality) Start teaching her, at this young age, what the real purpose of dating is for and that all the boy craziness she sees around her is due to underattended girls seeking a father figure or trying to establish an identity that could not be found in the home.<br /><br />"Bring up a child in the way he/she should go and when they are older they will not depart from it"<br /><br /><br />If all the above fails , which I doubt it would, get the 'ol shotgun oiled up and keep it by the front door.

 

[revertmastec]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

you tell them....<br /><br /><br />"I've been to prison I'm not afraid to go back"<br /><br />

 

[ehenry]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Its all in how you raise em!!! Girls or boys...it doesnt matter....your daughter is going to emulate you and your wife...if yall have a loving, trusting relationship, no abuse or that type crud thats what she will have. If the boyfirend comes from a family thats scrapping, fighting, drinkin all the time then thats what type relationship he will most likely have.<br /><br />just my $1.14 worth.

 

[jtexas]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

"Its all in how you raise em!!!" man, that is worth way more than $1.14, ef. and boomyal<br /><br />One of my foster daughters is...how should I say it...not exercising good judgement. I literally threatened to kill one young man. In the presence of witnesses. That is a bit extreme; I wouldn't advise it. For the record, it was an idle threat. Nevertheless, it appeared to have some effect, although that could just be coincidence. If it makes a difference, he was 17 nearly 18, she was 16. Guess his dad forgot to have the "jailbait" discussion with him.

 

[Elmer Fudge]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Believe it or not, most kids today are a lot smarter than their parents were at their age, a lot of kids may seem to be pretty dumb, its only a learning curve, we all went through certain stages of development in our lives.<br />Kids today are living in a world very much alien with few exceptions from the one which most of us here grew up in.<br />They will all make mistakes in life and so will they learn to overcome those mistakes as most of us did.<br />Give them the breaks which they need and all of the support that you can, allow them to live out their dreams and aspirations not ours.

 

[deputydawg]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Talking to and warning the boys don't help at all. If a man is abusive to women by nature, no amount of threats will help.<br /><br />This I know from my sisters ex. Before they were married my dad and even me and my uncle in time warned him what would happen if he ever treated her wrong. But in his mind whipping her into shape was not wrong. <br /><br />He was good to her until they were married. Then he slowly took us out of her life. He even used the threats we made to him against her. WE could not do anything to help her until she was ready to leave him. If we tried he would only take it out on her later. <br /><br />When she decided to leave him dad and I along with some of his buddies from the loading docks and some of the drivers he works for went to their house early one morning and moved her out. <br /><br />The only way to keep them from that kin dof relationship is to educate them early and make sure they know that they do not ever have to live with abuse. Mom and Dad never taught my sister this, they never even thought about it. <br /><br />I have noticed in my job that young men and teenagers in this generation, 16 to 20 year olds around here, have the iddea that they have to treat their girlfriends like dirt. They all say if they treat their girls like dirt the girls will do anything to please them. And most of these little terds do it too. <br /><br />My daughters are 4 and 5. They will not be allowed to date until they are 30. Even then I feel sorry for the poor sucker they choose. And I really feel sorry for the poor guys family that ever decides to hurt one of them. Funerals are hard to plan.

 

[ehenry]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

I'll never forget what my boy told me about the first time he met the Scoops daddy... I asked him how it went..he said it went ok....I asked him what the guy was like...he said.."Well, I walked in to shake his hand, and he had to put down the huge scalpin knife he was sharpening..after I said nice to meet you I looked down and there were 8 knives, 4 pistols and a riot gun on the table where he was sitting. I knew right away he was a man that I wanted to do right by ! ! !"<br /><br />That yall is the gospel truth. I knew right then myself that Scoops daddy was a man I would get along with right off the bat too.

 

[txswinner]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

I believe and practiced it was up to the girls, after I agreed they could date, to do the right thing. I felt this only fair as I am seen by some as much the liberal. And after all when they are 26 they pretty much are not listening to me anyway.

 

[Elmer Fudge]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Originally posted by efhenry:<br /> I'll never forget what my boy told me about the first time he met the Scoops daddy... I asked him how it went..he said it went ok....I asked him what the guy was like...he said.."Well, I walked in to shake his hand, and he had to put down the huge scalpin knife he was sharpening..after I said nice to meet you I looked down and there were 8 knives, 4 pistols and a riot gun on the table where he was sitting. I knew right away he was a man that I wanted to do right by ! ! !"<br /><br />That yall is the gospel truth. I knew right then myself that Scoops daddy was a man I would get along with right off the bat too.

Whew! I never ceased to be amazed here thats for sure.<br />efh, if i did'nt know better, i would've swore that you were describing that BTK nutcase.

 

[aspeck]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

I am trying to teach my little girl proper like so she can handle any would-be suitors. She is learning to use a rife, shotgun, and bow. She is learning to box and wrestle also.<br /><br />I am also trying my best to show her how a woman should be treated by showing her momma all kinds of love and respect.<br /><br />She is only 4 now, but in 36 years, when she is allowed to start dating, that man better have his head on straight, or she WILL take it off and hand it to him on a platter!<br /><br />At least that is what I am hoping for!

 

[txswinner]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Aspeck, You are being overly protective, at 26 she may start sneaking out anyway so you might as well let her date.

 

[ehenry]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Elmer, I've met the girlfriends daddy and he's a fine fellow. As a matter of fact he's a native born Texan. He wanted to get my boys attention and he did just that. I'm not the least bit worried cause I know my son is going to do right regardless.

 

[heycods]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

Originally posted by aspeck:<br /> I am trying to teach my little girl proper like so she can handle any would-be suitors. She is learning to use a rife, shotgun, and bow. She is learning to box and wrestle also.<br /><br />I am also trying my best to show her how a woman should be treated by showing her momma all kinds of love and respect.<br /><br />She is only 4 now, but in 36 years, when she is allowed to start dating, that man better have his head on straight, or she WILL take it off and hand it to him on a platter!<br /><br />At least that is what I am hoping for!

Sounds like my sons plan. Granddaughter can just about whip any boy her age.

 

[LadyFish]

Re: How do you handle your daughters boyfriends?

We were fairly strict with our daughter when it came to boyfriends. As far as them breaking her heart it was the other way around and we never had to deal with that. If a boyfriend showed no regard for the curfews or dating rules we set in place, we would have a talk with him personally. That usually seem to do the trick.<br /><br />The constant worry can make you old before your time but if you trust them and what you've taught them, things always work out in the end.<br /><br />She ended up dating a bad boy for awhile and I tried so hard to protect her from it. All that ended up doing is driving her closer to him. A rebellious thing, we've all done it. But it wasn't long after I figured out she would have to experience this herself that she broke up with him.<br /><br />Today she is married to someone perfect for her. I could not have done a better job myself if I had handpicked him.<br /><br />Teach them responsibility, dicipline, self confidence, good values, morals and ethics and they will end up with someone good.