One liners

[technostingray]

Did you hear the one about the termite who walked into a bar and asked, Where is the Bartender?

 

[Chief101]

Re: One liners

I thought he asked, "Is the bar tender here?"<br />

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

That was a different termite!

 

[Dave Abrahamson]

Re: One liners

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

A man walked into a bar and said "OUCH"

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

The mother said to her son, why don't you hop in the tub. She found him ten minutes later still hopping.

 

[Dave Abrahamson]

Re: One liners

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

A hamburger walked into a bar, but the bartender told the burger to leave; the burger asked why, and the bartender said "We don't serve food here."

 

[Dave Abrahamson]

Re: One liners

Two men walked into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it

 

[Dave Abrahamson]

Re: One liners

Take my wife ....please!

 

[EZLoader]

Re: One liners

-By the time you have money to burn you're too old to play with matches.<br /><br />-You know you're getting old when you talk about the good old days and nobody's qualified to call you a liar.<br /><br />-An old timer is someone who remembers when buying on time meant getting to the store before it closed.<br /><br />-You're overweight when you're living beyond your seams.<br /><br />

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

 

[JB]

Re: One liners

You are old when your dreams are replaced by memories.

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

You know you are drunk, when your date steps on your tongue.

 

[Reel Poor]

Re: One liners

Originally posted by KilroyJC:<br /> How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Ill tell you tomorrow.

 

[tylerin]

Re: One liners

How do you make a hankerchief dance? Put a lil boogie in it.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

Aw, Reel Poor - you gave it away!

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

Hey buddy, you have a banana in your, hey buddy YOU HAVE A BANANA IN YOUR EAR. HEY BUDDY YOU HAVE A BANANA IN YOU EAR!<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />/<br />Sorry, I can't hear you I have banana in my ear.

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

Why do ducks have web feet - To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet - to stamp out flaming ducks.

 

[stan_deezy]

Re: One liners

What did the blonde get on her IQ test? Nail varnish.<br /><br />What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've told her twice already.<br /><br />Two goldfish are in a tank and one says "you drive and I'll fire the gun"