SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Getting information off the Internet is like taking<br />a drink from a fire hydrant.<br /> <br />America is a country where half the money is<br />spent buying food, and the other half is spent<br />trying to lose weight.<br /> <br />When you dream in color, it's a pigment of<br />your imagination.<br /> <br />Get the last word in . . . apologize.<br /> <br />Love will find a way. Indifference will find<br />an excuse.<br /> <br />Everybody is ignorant, just on different subjects.<br /> <br />Let's have lunch. I can't afford therapy.<br /> <br />If the world is getting smaller how come they<br />raised the postal rates?<br /> <br />We have to believe in free will. We have no<br />choice.<br /> <br />If you have twenty things to do in a day and<br />nineteen of them go well, which one do<br />you talk about over dinner?<br /> <br />Half the people on the road should be pulled over<br />by the police, the other half by psychiatrists.<br /> <br />The difference between FEMA and Social Security:<br />You might actually live long enough to get benefits<br />from Social Security.<br /> <br />Don't attempt to run from the past, it is always<br />behind you.<br /> <br />People like you are the reason people like me<br />need medication.<br /> <br />A journey of a thousand miles begins with a<br />cash advance.<br /> <br />Middle age: when a guy turns off lights for economical<br />rather than romantic reasons.<br /> <br />I think, therefore I'm single<br /> <br />Mother Nature has joined the insurgents.<br /> <br />Tankruptcy 
: The financial condition resulting<br />from fueling one's SUV.<br /> <br />Three things in life are certain. . . . taxes, death,<br />and data loss.<br /><br />When you live by yourself, all your annoying<br />habits are gone!<br /> <br />The supermarket is where you spend 30<br />minutes hunting for instant coffee.<br /> <br />The only people who listen to both sides<br />of an argument are the neighbors.<br /> <br />Why is it the loudest snorer is always<br />the first one to get to sleep.<br /> <br />The extra mile isn't half as long as all those<br />other miles.<br /> <br />Frustration is trying to find your glasses<br />without your glasses.<br /> <br />Life is really like a shower. One wrong<br />turn and you're in hot water.<br /> <br />Without my ignorance, your knowledge<br />would be meaningless.<br /> <br />Today everyone wants instant gratification,<br />no matter how long it takes.<br /> <br />They who are afraid to ask are ashamed<br />of learning.<br /> <br />Blessed are those who can give without<br />remembering and take without forgetting.<br /> <br />The worst thing about history is that, every<br />time it repeats itself . . . the price goes up.<br /> <br />We want all machines to be perfect,<br />with the exception of the bathroom scale.<br /> <br />It's easy enough to spot the winners.<br />They're the ones not complaining about the rules.<br /> <br />A great actor can bring tears to our eyes.<br />But then, so can an auto mechanic.<br /> <br />Nobody who is somebody looks down on anybody.<br /> <br />Fight prime time, read a book.<br /> <br />A pedestrian is a man whose son is home<br />from college.<br /> <br />It's scary when you start making the same<br />noises as your coffee-maker.<br /> <br />Give me the first six years of a child's life and<br />you can have the rest.
: The financial condition resulting<br />from fueling one's SUV.<br /> <br />Three things in life are certain. . . . taxes, death,<br />and data loss.<br /><br />When you live by yourself, all your annoying<br />habits are gone!<br /> <br />The supermarket is where you spend 30<br />minutes hunting for instant coffee.<br /> <br />The only people who listen to both sides<br />of an argument are the neighbors.<br /> <br />Why is it the loudest snorer is always<br />the first one to get to sleep.<br /> <br />The extra mile isn't half as long as all those<br />other miles.<br /> <br />Frustration is trying to find your glasses<br />without your glasses.<br /> <br />Life is really like a shower. One wrong<br />turn and you're in hot water.<br /> <br />Without my ignorance, your knowledge<br />would be meaningless.<br /> <br />Today everyone wants instant gratification,<br />no matter how long it takes.<br /> <br />They who are afraid to ask are ashamed<br />of learning.<br /> <br />Blessed are those who can give without<br />remembering and take without forgetting.<br /> <br />The worst thing about history is that, every<br />time it repeats itself . . . the price goes up.<br /> <br />We want all machines to be perfect,<br />with the exception of the bathroom scale.<br /> <br />It's easy enough to spot the winners.<br />They're the ones not complaining about the rules.<br /> <br />A great actor can bring tears to our eyes.<br />But then, so can an auto mechanic.<br /> <br />Nobody who is somebody looks down on anybody.<br /> <br />Fight prime time, read a book.<br /> <br />A pedestrian is a man whose son is home<br />from college.<br /> <br />It's scary when you start making the same<br />noises as your coffee-maker.<br /> <br />Give me the first six years of a child's life and<br />you can have the rest.
