OXYMORON S

scrapper

Ensign
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Messages
937
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? <br /><br />2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? <br /><br />3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? <br /><br />4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? <br /><br />5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? <br /><br />6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? <br /><br />7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? <br /><br />8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? <br /><br />9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? <br /><br />10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? <br /><br />11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? <br /><br />12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? <br /><br />13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? <br /><br />14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? <br /><br />15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? <br /><br />16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? <br /><br />17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? <br /><br />18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? <br /><br />19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? <br /><br />20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? <br /><br />21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? <br /><br />22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? <br /><br />23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? <br /><br />24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? <br /><br />25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? <br /><br />26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? <br /><br />27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
 

heycods

Captain
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
3,941
Re: OXYMORON S

Scrapp Did the penquin joke ever come through to you.The other one ,Iwas trying to send, Man I wish your server would let that big file come, Its the funniest thing I have ever saw.
 

Reel Poor

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jan 29, 2005
Messages
5,522
Re: OXYMORON S

Why do we slow down in a Speed Zone?<br /><br />How does something burn Up.<br /><br />Why is it called a building when its finished.<br /><br />Why does the Media lie? uh er wait a minute thats a fact not an oxymoron. :rolleyes:
 

kenimpzoom

Rear Admiral
Joined
Jul 13, 2002
Messages
4,807
Re: OXYMORON S

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?<br /><br />Ken
 

scrapper

Ensign
Joined
Sep 6, 2005
Messages
937
Re: OXYMORON S

Turn Left ,Right here!!<br /><br />Codboy :; Nope didnt come through :( :(
 

Twidget

Commander
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
2,192
Re: OXYMORON S

Oh, that type of oxymoron, I thought you meant that pitch guy for oxyclean. :p :) <br /><br />
Man I wish your server would let that big file come, Its the funniest thing I have ever saw.<br />
Zip the file. It may make it through then.
 

crazy charlie

Vice Admiral
Joined
May 22, 2003
Messages
5,679
Re: OXYMORON S

Hot water heater....Shouldnt it be called a cold water heater??...If the water is hot,why does it need to be heated??
 

rodbolt

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Sep 1, 2003
Messages
20,066
Re: OXYMORON S

press any key to continue.<br />goverment aid <br /> military intelligence
 

fireship1

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
581
Re: OXYMORON S

Why when someone is being put to death by leathal injection the nurse swabs the injection site with alcohol? Are they worried that they might get an infection before they die? :confused: <br /><br />Not a cute oxymoron, but it has been a head scratcher to me for quite a while. :rolleyes:
 

Homerr

Commander
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
2,294
Re: OXYMORON S

If you are going to destroy a structure, why do they say they are going to raise it?<br /><br /><br />H.
 

deputydawg

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Aug 29, 2004
Messages
1,607
Re: OXYMORON S

What is a perfect stranger? Someone with nice hair?<br /><br />Millitary intelligence....nuff said.<br /><br />Another from George Carlin, self help books. Isn't it just help?
 
D

DJ

Guest
Re: OXYMORON S

quote:<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Originally posted by 18R:<br />Do people that are opposed to abortion eat eggs? <br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />GOOD ONE!!!!!!!{/b]
Actually that's pretty mindless. Eggs are just that. They are NOT ferilized, thus have no life. They are POTENTIAL life.<br /><br />Eating embryos would be anothjer matter. But, what are facts in the way of a slogan?
 

brother chris

Commander
Joined
Jul 28, 2002
Messages
2,063
Re: OXYMORON S

Originally posted by heycods:<br /> Scrapp Did the penquin joke ever come through to you.The other one ,Iwas trying to send, Man I wish your server would let that big file come, Its the funniest thing I have ever saw.
Heycods.....you can send it here...humor is good for the soul.<br />boaterdude22@hotmail.com
 
Top