The Purina diet

Plainsman

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Messages
4,062
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in

line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!



I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting

The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended

up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I

awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my

orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.



I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying

it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way
it
works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is

nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.



I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.



Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and

was that why I ended up in the hospital.



I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car

hit me.



I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Mar 25, 2001
Messages
45,907
Re: The Purina diet

Dang, Plainsman!!

You need to warn a guy before you tell that story.

What a mess!! Now i gotta clean up.:'(
 

treedancer

Commander
Joined
Apr 10, 2005
Messages
2,216
Re: The Purina diet

Man you owe me for a keyboard, spit all of my Kool-Aid on this one. Shh don’t tell 12-footer, I was drinking his Kool-Aid.8)
 

ZmOz

Captain
Joined
Aug 13, 2003
Messages
3,949
Re: The Purina diet

Geez....you must be really flexible. :^
 

treedancer

Commander
Joined
Apr 10, 2005
Messages
2,216
Re: The Purina diet

Damn Omer you weren’t supposed to be covering this thread.:|
 

JasonJ

Rear Admiral
Joined
Aug 20, 2001
Messages
4,163
Re: The Purina diet

ZmOz said:
Geez....you must be really flexible. :^

You know what they say....."If I could, I'd never leave the house"..... :)
 

rwise

Captain
Joined
Jul 5, 2001
Messages
3,205
Re: The Purina diet

"I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car

hit me. " are you sure you had the right target here d:)
 

jimlad

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Feb 4, 2007
Messages
569
Re: The Purina diet

Plainsman said:
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in

line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........Duh!



I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting

The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended

up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I

awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my

orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.



I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying

it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way
it
works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is

nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.



I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.



Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and

was that why I ended up in the hospital.



I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car

hit me.



I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

8) lol very funny8)
 
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